Oh fabulous! Two more studies barking out who must be happier based upon parenthood. And wow! The two studies are based upon “worldwide” samples of 130,000 and 120,000 people. I’ll be the first to admit I suck at math, I mean not just bad, I mean royally suck. Like getting a 250- on- the- Math- portion- of- the -SAT- the- first- time-I- took- the- stupid- standardized- test-that- meant- really- nothing-except- to- Brandeis- and- NYU-who- both- rejected- me- kind of suck. Despite this mathematical disability, even I can put the numbers together and determine there are billions of people in the world and two studies with a combined research sample of 250,000 should not be held up to bash people over the head!
Someone has to raise the bullshit flag, and it’s gonna be me.
First of all, before anyone accuses me of not appreciating academia, I am the progeny of not one, but TWO former Ivy League Sociology professors. So I think I do know a little bit about that world otherwise known as Publish Or Perish. In addition to my Violet Wiffenpoof geniology, I have a couple of degrees myself (one of which from the University of Arizona, so I can admit to the potential of a bias when it comes to anything published by ASU.)
Second of all, the first of all doesn’t even matter because bullshit is bullshit.
Sharon Jayson’s USA Today Article shares:
Chris Herbst, an assistant professor of public affairs at the school’s downtown Phoenix campus, says his research identifies “serious problems with previous work that ought to make people skeptical about the earlier conclusions.”
Um. Okay. That makes sense. Everybody gonna get right on that skepticism train traveling back to earlier conclusions? All aboard for more bullshit…
The USA Today article also offers up this quote from the other study:
“The first child increases happiness quite a lot. The second child a little. The third not at all,” says Myrskylä.
Dude. You should have stopped at the first one. Now you have three children? What the hell are you gonna do now? Your happiness is in serious jeopardy and you have to do something. Right? I suppose if we are to pay attention to the first study, potentially unhappy families with three children should offer their two extra children to their unhappy childless friends. Winner! Winner! Family Dinner!
All I can say is before you leap to believe the latest rounds of press released studies from our institutions of higher learning, look first. Channel a little Janet Jackson and ask “What has this study done for me lately?” if you think it applies to you, then by all means take it seriously. Just know that there is going to be, in all likelihood, another study that will come along and rebut the first one. Because just as sand goes through the hour glass, so goes the days of whether someone is going get tenure in their department based upon whether they’ve been recently published. Academic research is interesting, I don’t deny that for a minute. However, let’s keep in mind that just because a study concludes, “It is so.” Doesn’t mean another study won’t come along and claim, “It ain’t so.”
Studies that proclaim one group of people to be “happier” than another are entirely subjective. I haven’t come across a universal definition of happiness which is accepted globally, across all cultures, across all socioeconomic classes. Have you? Make sure you check out the definition of terms in a study, they all have em. Let’s say you don’t agree with the definition being used for “Happiness” then the study may not be valid for you. Thus you may be more or less happy than the research concludes. Happy?
Bottom line is this, does it really matter “Who is happier” if that person isn’t you? I suspect there are all sorts of happy people in the world. And I further suspect the happiness these people experience has nothing to do with whether or not they have children. I know! Sounds crazy! And maybe it is crazy because we know that 250,000 people have been studied across the globe (You know, out of billions of people on the planet) so those 250,000 must be telling us the truth about happiness. Right?
That is such crazy bullshit. And calling it bullshit makes me happy.







