Broken New Year Resolution

While I was surfing around the Internet for links about broken New Year Resolutions,thinking I would add to Aviva's previous post, I found one person who posted a list of funny resolutions to break. My favorite was "Yelling 'womb' in a public place."

The more I imagined someone doing this(the yelling of 'womb'), the funnier it seemed to me. My 10 year old heard me laughing and asked me what was so funny.

I explained. He shared his own opinion, "What about 'uterus', that would sound weird too."

And so it all circles around again...

Happy N'uterus from our family to yours!

New Year's Resolutions - Make 'em or Break 'em!

It's hard to believe that another year is winding to a close and a new one is about to begin! What will the new year bring? New schools, new activities, new friends, new resolutions...

OK, let's try to be realistic here. We're probably not going to get down to a size 6 when the new spring fashions come out. It is highly doubtful a chauffeured limo will be driving us around town, unless we have resolved to chaperone a prom and insist on sharing transportation with the king and queen. If we are "keeping it real" we might find size 10-12 works for us, and we might have a new (previously owned) car. Should we really bother with resolutions - are they dreams and goals to aspire towards or fantasies that should stay in the fantasy world? Maybe New Year Hopes would be better.

Last night, my family began to talk about things that could change for us - we didn't preface them with any kind of New Year talk, we simply discussed our likes, dislikes and how each of us impact them. It is apparent that no one in my family really enjoys arguing so we discussed ways to not argue if we didn't have to- each of us talked about what WE could do to make a difference; not what we wanted others to do for us. Maybe we are working on New Year Responsibilities? Maybe this makes more sense than resolutions? We also talked about family activities we would like to do and how we could do them. Really spelling out and walking through actually DOING them. Not just saying "I wish we could, blah, blah, blah." We talked about the who, what, when, why and how of family activities. It helped for us to do this because each family member could then have a better understanding of how plans form and then get carried out. I really do believe, as much as I love my family and see them daily, we still are not a family of psychics. We can't read each others' minds. Family meetings to set up goals for the week, month and year might help some families. It was great to watch as my daughter realized my denying her a ride to the mall is not a form of child abuse, it means I might have something else I need to get done and she may just need to find another ride or go when it is convenient for me too. Odd, no one talked about wanting to diet or wanting to achieve world domination? Nope, not odd, we were being realistic and what it boiled down to -enjoying ourselves as a family is important to us. This is a goal my family would like to achieve together. Having kinder relationships with each other, spending more time doing activities , sharing our friends with each other. All wonderful thoughts for this new year and all the years to come!

It's easy to get caught up in the New Year Resolution frenzy. Many of the talk shows, news casts and print media are putting on the heat. However, instead of breaking into a nervous sweat, why not consider playing it cool as you talk about New Year Hopes, New Year Realism, New Year Talks, and New Year Enjoyment.

Holiday Observances

This week my 5 year old son noticed the life sized nativity scene on our neighbors lawn across the street. He asked, "Why does John's family have pretend people on his lawn?"

I gave him a rundown on the ritual and what it means, but I still don't think he sees a connection between Christmas and pretend people standing around on our neighbors yard. He watched as John's family spread the hay in the manger and concluded, "You know, they are going to have to clean that up later."

My older son, who's world presently revolves around quoting the movie Napoleon Dynamite, will probably tell me "Go light yourself a dang menorah!" or "If you play dreidel with me, all of your wildest dreams will come true."

Whether or not you are observing holidays this month, watch all of the action thru the eyes of your offspring and have some laughs together.

Hey, December 23rd is Festivus...

Creating A New Tradition for Holidays, Birthdays, Anniversaries and More

Aviva and I have been friends for 30 years. After we became parents, we discovered no matter how well intentioned, we forgot birthdays, didn't remember anniversaries and holiday shopping, well, that sometimes got screwed up too. Not because we didn't care, but because our mommy brains just didn't always engage on time, so we'd end up doing everything after the fact.
Given the guilt these bouts of partialheimers (we're too young yet for Altzheimers) were creating, Aviva and I came up with a different strategy. It works for us and I'll share it with you just in case, you are a member of our lost brain warped brethren. I'm talkin' about.... "The Annual Box".

Aviva and I each get a large empty box. During the course of the year, we fill the box up as we find items for each other, our kids, spouses, and even pets. When the box is full, we mail it. Sometimes the annual box will arrive during the winter holiday season, sometimes it arrives as the leaves are changing, it has arrived on a lazy day of summer and it has popped up in the Spring. Our families look forward to "The Annual Box". They know it represents all of the special events occurring thru the year, and it has become a much loved tradition. Not knowing when "The Annual Box" will show up, adds to the fun.

Another plus to thinking INSIDE "The Annual Box" is being able to take advantage of the post holiday sales and end of season sales. We've been able to give each other some fabulous gifts at a fraction of the cost!

Holiday! Celebrate! But Wait....

We all notice there are quite a few holidays being celebrated, and so do our kids. Some of the holidays maybe be ones your family observes, and some may not. What do we tell our kids about all the hoopla? Why are people grouchy right before what is thought to be a festive time of year? I don't know about anyone else, but I don't think the holiday music piped into elevators, bathrooms, grocery stores, clothing shops and places of employment are helping the situation. By the time the actual holidays roll around, many of us are suffering from over exposure! People are running around trying to get ready , either gladly exchanging gifts or feeling guilty as they find themselves hunting thru the house for just one more White Elephant. But the one common question that seems to stop parents in our tracks is when our kids ask us "Why don't we celebrate...?" What answer can we give that will simultaneously be respectful of others' beliefs yet still affirm our own for our kids? Is there such an answer? I am pleased to report there is indeed just such an answer! My friend, a native New Yorker now living in Wichita, Kansas, enlightened me and I will share her wisdom. The way she explains the importance of celebrating holidays which are different from that of your own religion is so simple and sweet, it works with children as well as adults. She uses the birthday party analogy, by explaining the concept of when you have a friend with a birthday, you are invited to the party because it is a special day for your friend and you are a special person with whom your friend would like to celebrate their special day. So, you give a gift, you may even get a small party favor, but you know it's not birthday, you understand no major gifts need come your way, and being invited and going to the party pleases both you and your friend. So it's the same thing with holidays. You may not celebrate the same holiday as your friend, or even other people in your own family, but this should not prevent you from inviting them to participate in your celebration or vice versa. My own addition to this wisdom is celebrate relationships, not just the holidays! We live in a world made up of people, not just practices. Learning about each other, and what we believe, decreases discrimination/bigotry/religious intolerance and increases our ability to reach out to one another in a true spirit of celebration. We can believe in humanity all year round. Let us know, let us know, let us know! (Okay, I admit, really bad pun. I can hear my kids now, "No sing Mommy, No sing!")

December Sanity Check

First things first. The Halloween candy table display actually worked. Everyone casually ate the candy as they pleased. My son discovered that he really didn't even like to eat as much as he thought and ended up throwing away several partially consumed pieces of candy. All in all, I think it was a success - even I wasn't compelled to eat it.

Moving on to December. Well, it's about 6:30 on a Friday night. I remember the days when this was the hour of primping, dressing and prepping for a night on the town. At first it was looking for dates then it was dating my husband. Tonight though, my world is a different place. My husband is at a fly tying class, my oldest daughter is at a friends, my middle daughter is downstairst with 10 of her closest friends celebrating her birthday and my son... oh my gosh, where is my son?? Oh yeah, he is at his friend's house - her mother just happens to be my savior here on earth. Am I angry at my husband for not being here for the party - no way! He had a hectic week and a very long day at work (I should know, I work with him). He needs the unwind time with his buddies at the fly tying shop.

What about my needs though? To tell you the truth, I couldn't ask for much more right now. The party is going just fine without my intervening - I even heard my daughter tell everyone they needed to clean up their dinner plates so they could make their ice cream sundaes. She really does listen to me, sometimes. The rest of my family is off having fun, doing their own things, and I have some time to myself to read, write, or just hang out. Time like this is hard to find any time of the year, but this time of the year especially!

Time for self is critical, and we may need to think outside the box in order to get it. Am I occasionally overcome with the urge to run downstairs and bring order and adult regulation to the party? Of course I am, but you know what? They really are doing just fine. They'll let me know if they need anything and I will be able to hear if anything critical should arise. I deserve this break and I intend to take it and ENJOY it!