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Parentopia - The official blog for Aviva Pflock and Devra Renner

co-authors of the award winning book -- Mommy Guilt

 

Jul 26, 2006

PBS Fires Mom for her tawdry past? Oh C'mon! This is silly.

Let me just say we love PBS, but right now we do not like its behavior.

A recent decision made by PBS to fire Melanie Martinez ,a children's show host, reminds Aviva and me as to why we wrote this commentary for The Mothers Movement Online.

Parents deserve to devote a part of our identity to being adults, we were adults prior to being parents, we are adults as we parent our children and we are going to be adults after our kids become adults themselves. There will be a time when we might share some of our adult past with our kids at an age appropriate for them to know. There may be stories about our past we NEVER share with anyone ,especially our children. Who here finds that to be a shocking revelation? Parents, pick up the phone, send an email, take pen to paper and let us enlighten PBS.

PBS KIDS Sprout
PO Box 59269
Philadelphia, PA 19102-9997
215-320-5891
info@sproutletsgrow.com


If PBS is not concerned about what Ms. Martinez did in her previous years as much as they are concerned with who will see it now, the question must be asked "Why?" Does PBS really think toddlers will be checking their email to see if this has been forwarded to them by their playgroup?

It seems to us, here at Parentopia, it is far more reasonable to expect people live their lives as they do, eventually become parents and have a "history". It does not seem reasonable to conclude all people will share this history with their offspring, other children and the rest of the free world. I would guess it is a miniscule minority of parents who would choose to announce to their child "Oh look pumpkin, that's the woman from the Anal Sex parody!"

Instead of making a wild assumption that parents are incapable of deciding what we tell our children about their beloved PBS program host. Let us live on the edge and make an even wilder assumption that parents can decide for themselves what they tell their children about the world we live in and what they see in it. We think PBS didn't just fire an employee, they fired off a judgment about the state of today's parenting.

You all know what I will do next about this blog entry? I am going to have my 6 year old son read it, check the links to see if they work and then forward it to his 10 year old brother.



Jul 25, 2006

Beauty is in the Eye

It's not that I don't like the warm temperatures and long days of summer. It's just that I can't stand the yard work! So, I've decided to take my own advice and let it go. I even figured out how to enjoy what I have created.

As I stand in my bedroom overlooking my back yard, here is what I see. Thick green grass near the house, short, browning grass further back, and in the farthest section, nothing but bind weed surrounding the trees. Now, the pessimistic, gotta have it perfect view could be this... I need to mow near the house, fertilize and water more further back and pull a ton of weeds!

My "view" is this...
The plush grass near the house is perfect for the kids to play in. The shorter, trampled looking stuff is a sure sign that my kids and dogs have been frolicking happily outside all summer. The back third is a beautiful bouquet of soft white and pink flowers speckled with a variety of wild flowers - like my own personal meadow. And, of course, that yellow streak going down the hill just means that the Slip'n'Slide is getting plenty of use!

I just hope it snows soon...



Jul 21, 2006

You Want A Piece Of Her Bad Mother? You Got That, and More

Here is the piece Her Bad Mother sent to me. She sent it to me and included a comment. I loved the comment, I am compelled to post it. I didn't ask her permission. I just published it without asking. I am a renegade. Lawless. (Maybe Her Bad Mother will show how *Bad* she is and kick my ass next week when we meet in person) So if I get the crap beaten out of me next week at this time, it will have definitely been worth it. This is a truly poignant quote illustrating mother love.
"She's the most important piece of me,
as much a part of my body as my arms, my legs, my heart (sniff)."




Now on to the interview:

1. What inspired you to begin blogging?

This will sound sad, but here goes: loneliness. Feeling isolated. The day that I discovered blogs and blogging, it was like the heavens broke open and angels came tumbling down to earth. They were out there! Other mothers other funny, literate, thinking mothers who were both rejoicing in their new motherhood and lamenting the shit storm that that experience is. I wrote about it here.

2. What inspires you to keep blogging?

My love of writing, and my love of reading blogs. My love of community. My love of sharing my love of my daughter, and witnessing other parents love of their children.

3. Do you have a favorite post you have read on someone else's blog or even on your own? If so, which one and why.
Too many to list. GGC's post 'Fallen Idols' was probably the first that I completely and totally blithered and gibbered over. Of my own: the one about the dolphin penises, the one about the gods, and the original post about my nephew.

4. Is there any blog you read every single day? If yes, which? If no, why not?

I used to obsessively read about a zillion blogs daily. I've had to cut back, so as not to neglect my daughter. But I haven't cut back on number (it keeps growing) so much as on schedule. I now do my blog cruising about every two days, with commenting spread out over those days. But I do poke my head in on my Toronto-area peeps (see blogroll HERE) pretty much every time that I open my computer, as I do with MotherhoodUncensored, Mom-101, GGC, Christina, Mrs. Chicky, Izzy, Mo-Wo (WHO JUST HAD HER BABY - 10 lbs - OMG!!!) and Dawn. And Sweet Juniper. Which, yes, means that I probably neglect my daughter.

5. Do you have a particular blogger you are especially looking forward to meet? If so who and why.

Oh, man, all of them. Who am I nervous about meeting (assuming that they acknowledge my existence, which is probably a stretch)? Amalah, Sweetney, Finslippy, et. al. The Big Ladies. (I can't even say the D-name. Too Big.) Who do I wish was going, so that I could meet them? Jezer, Joy, a zillion others...

6. Are you concerned your anonymity will be a thing of the past? Do you expect this to have an effect on your blogging in the future?

Nah. I don't care so much if my real name is known in the blogosphere. I'd prefer to keep it on the down-low in my own RL community, so as to limit the degree of self-censorship that I have to exercise. In any case, there's always the secret hide-out, which has already seen a lot of use: the Basement.

7. What is the most memorable comment you have received on your blog and what caused it to be memorable for you?

Most memorable in a bad way were the first comments that I ever received from my blogtard, who camps out under a bridge near my blog and occasional emerges to stir up trouble: on the post in which I came out as having struggled with PPD and having lost a teaching contract for reasons related to that struggle, she commented that she didn't buy my story, that I was an unreliable narrator. That really knocked me about, but it and related tardage led to the whole Mommy Blogger Love-In Project, so it all turned out for the better.

8. Are there any topics you feel are too hot to touch for your blog or just too damn boring to write about? If so, what?

Too boring? Nothing about having a baby is boring. Shit's fascinating, people. If I can get away with posting about a tub dump, I can get away with anything. Too hot? Yes, but I'm currently trying to write about it right now so we'll see.


9. I suspect the first photo of Suri Cruise will be in an international airport going thru customs or all alone after being beamed down onto a field in the center of Kansas. Where do you think she will first show up?


Just discussed this in a post: Rennes-le-Chateaux, France.

10. On your blog you discuss the need for you to get more comfortable with self and with liquor prior to BlogHer. What objectives are you utilizing to attain those goals? Have you reached them?

The problem with those plans is that the latter undermines the former: getting more comfortable with myself in a very short period of time really requires hard drinking, and I lost my ability to drink anything more than two dark beers (milk supply boosters!) at a sitting somewhere between getting pregnant and now. So I've given up. I've reconciled myself to the fact that the experience of BlogHer may be very much like starting a new high school at the beginning of one's senior year. That's okay. I can roll with that. I may have to slouch in the corner pretending to be invisible, but I know how to do that.
That said, I will be experimenting with martinis over the next week. See if I can't up my tolerance to at least one.



11. Name your poison. What is your favorite beverage of the adult variety?
Vodka martini, very very dry, shaken, with an olive.

12. Who is the blogger around whom you would most like to remain sober at all times?
Any of the Big Ladies. Wouldn't want to end up slobbering on them or licking their shoes.

13. Who is the blogger you would most like to order pizza with at midnight then stay up talking to until sunrise?

That would have to be an all-girl slumber party, because I couldn't possibly narrow it down. I will say that I can totally see Christina and I actually doing this, because we're roomies and and I can't imagine letting her go to sleep before she's spilled all of her best Cordelia Warrior Princess stories.

14. No question about it, it's coming to BlogHer and if you have to turn that plane around mid-air, you're gonna go back and get it. What is "it"?

Laptop with remote wireless and video hook-up, to do video chat with Husband and WonderBaby. (And, um, to blog). Also, maybe, digital camera (this would have been number one but that in a pinch I could use disposable cameras and scan the photos, which would have a sort of ironic, retro-Luddite feel that would be interesting to explore.)


15. What is your favorite form of adult entertainment? (Feel free to define "adult" however you deem fit.)

Mad, drunken sex on the beach. Hah. In my current life? Getting tipsy on dark beer after WonderBaby is abed and watching reality TV.

16. Who is your hero? Heroine? Who do you admire or feel inspired by?

Oooh, tough one. Heroines? Christine de Pizan. Lou Salome. Lucretia. Lucrezia. Caterina Sforza. Esther.

Heroes? Arion.

17. And lastly because you are here on our blog, I gotta ask about Mommy Guilt. Are you concerned about experiencing any Mommy Guilt while at BlogHer?

Hell, yeah.

( BlogHer attendees seeking Mommy Guilt Relief, please leave a message for me at the front desk and I will hunt you down and absolve you on the spot!)



Jul 20, 2006

BlogHer and BlogMe



I will be attending BlogHer '06 and as a part of being an attendee, I was tagged by Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah, to interview a fellow BlogHer attendee. I will be interviewing Her Bad Mother, so look for the interview to be posted over the weekend. This interview is part of BlogMe



Jul 12, 2006

It's good to be the Queen

Recently I came across this article and experienced a true flashback. Here is the backstory...

My husband is active duty military and one advantage of following him around the country as moving from state to state is meeting other parents and hearing about various resources they have found. Not too long ago we were living in southern Illinois and one of the moms there mentioned a website www.ItsGoodToBeTheQueen.com . This is a website which was created by Linda Marie Ford, a mother of three boys. What is great about this website is it tempers humor about the various aspects of being the only woman in a family of sons, with offering online support for mothers who may be struggling with enjoying their parenting experience in a family dominated by what may feel like many tons of testosterone.

As a "Queen" myself, I felt it important to share the site here at Parentopia. Maybe now someone will give me my own tiara. This would be a practical choice, but given my sense of humor, this one rules!