They were going for "Humorous and Academic" in the Noer/Cocoran Piece? Does Forbes.Com smell what they are steppin in?

Becky over at I'd Like to Buy a Vowel sent a letter to authors, journalists and other professionals urging us to comment about Forbes.Com and express concern about a recent Point/Counterpoint article written by Michael Noer and Elizabeth Cocoran. My initial reaction to the article? "Why did Forbes.Com run this? It bites. " I concluded, "Incomplete research citations, flat humor. Pointless waste of space. Marriage advice? Is that what the 'World's Leaders in Business' expect to find at Forbes.com? I don't think so!"

Had I not been penning my response at the crack of ass (my new favorite expression for the hours between midnight and 8AM), I may have thought about opening my letter with, "Steve, you ignorant slut..." paying proper homage to the king and queen of Point/Counterpoint, Dan Aykroyd and Jane Curtin. Demonstrating how banter should be conducted. I was sleepy. It was late. I wasn't that quick with the keyboard.

Sooooo, I wrote a brief response noting the piece failed at being funny, wasn't particularly informative then I finished up saying Forbes.Com should address real issues; flexible work weeks, telecommuting options, released time to attend parent/teacher conferences, and other ways businesses could develop caregiving policies which could then take pressure off workers being pulled between home and office responsibilities. Information that would actually be of use to their readers - "The World's Leaders in Business."

This is the response I received today from Steve Forbes:

I want to acknowledge your communication with us on the article “Don’t Marry Career Women.” Sensitive issues demand sensitive treatment. The piece that appeared on Forbes.com this past week was intended to be part academic and part humorous. Instead, it profoundly offended hard-working career women everywhere. We deeply regret having done so.

Steve Forbes
President and Editor-in-Chief
Forbes

I am fairly certain I am one among many recipients.

I decided to answer it as though the email was sent to me and only me.

"What the hell! Why not?" I asserted loudly. "What? What are you doing?" From the other room came the voice of my 10 year old. (Note to readers, when asserting yourself and cursing, consider using your inside voice. )


Maybe someone at Forbes.com will read my communication responding to their communication responding to my communication

Maybe someone will appreciate the academic content, maybe it will be deemed humorous.

Dear Mr. Forbes,

Actually, I wasn't offended until I received this response from you. I read this response to put the onus on me--i.e. "If you had a better sense of humor and understood academic research you would have appreciated this piece." Um, no. I have a sense of humor and I do understand academic research. But this article just didn't have those components. I was not offended; I simply expressed my bewilderment as to why Forbes would publish something written by somebody who was a) trying much too hard to be funny, and failing, and b) citing incomplete and poorly interpreted research.

As for sensitivity, you are absolutely correct: "sensitive issues demand sensitive treatment." So how come you aren't concerned about how hard-working career men may have felt about this piece? Are only hard working career women sensitive enough to be offended by this dreck?

If you want humor and academic rigor wrapped in a package others will find appealing, trying posting a short mea culpa 'fessing up that this piece was FUBAR. I think that would be funny. And, since it incorporates an acronym will require some readers to look up, you can call that part your "research" component.

Devra Renner, MSW

If you are bored and need something to do...

You can check around for the September issue of Cookie Magazine for quotes from Aviva and me regarding "Carpool Etiquette". While you have that magazine in your hot little hands, make sure to find their recommended reading list for books on depression, which includes Tracy Thompson's new book, The Ghost in The House: Motherhood, Raising Children and Struggling with Depression.

When you get home, get online and go to Crazed Parent where Aviva and I answered "The Crazed Parent Five" and if you still need more of us, and haven't quite gotten your fill, go top off at MSN.Com (and note the article was written by this blogger!)

The Today Show's Meredith Vieira Weighs In On "Having It All"

Hey, her timing couldn't be better considering we just posted THIS. Meredith Vieira was recently interviewed by Time Magazine. Here is what she had to say about "Having it All".

You quit 60 Minutes to focus on your family, but you now seem to juggle motherhood and work well. What do you say to women who want to have it all?

I hate that expression. When I left 60 Minutes, I had women who came up to me very angry and said, "You know, you were proof you could have it all. How dare you leave?" I thought that was ridiculous--I would lie to myself to create a lie for everybody else? You have to prioritize. If you can fit in job and kids and be comfortable with it, great. At that point, I realized I couldn't do it and give my kids and husband what they needed.

It is a reality that Meredith Vieira has different resources available to her - maybe she doesn't need to consider the economic consequences of leaving paid employment- but so what. The bottom line is whenever we consider our priorities, and come up with a list, which includes our own needs in the mix, we feel less guilt about our decisions, we experience an increased sense of fulfillment and our family benefits too.

While Meredith took action to support her priorities, we would take it one step further; Say something! Standing up for your priorities leads to feeling empowered and confident.

Next time you are cornered with a question that puts your priorities on the stand, steer clear of defending yourself or copping a guilty plea. Jump up and answer, "I object!" with the confidence in knowing you are doing what you can within your own control and the resources you have.

A Mommy Story Learns to Let Some Things Go

A couple of weeks ago we offered to help Christina. Brave woman that she is, strong woman that she is, she agreed! We have gone thru her original post, paragraph by paragraph. Our comments are in green italic. It is long, so we don't mind if you take a bathroom break, eat dinner, take the kids outside to play, and then come on back. Whatever works for you! Without further ado, here is Christina's story...

The Have It All Mom

Many of us want to be women who can have it all. Its 2006, feminism is here and is in full swing! We can be pretty much anything we want to be! (OK, maybe not president...yet.) Women are not limited to being only stay at home mothers or having "care careers" of nursing, teaching, or secretarial work. Our horizons are broad now, and more women than ever are entering fields once thought to be dominated by men: engineering, business, science, etc. We can be married, have kids, do volunteer activities, and have a full time job at the same time.
So if I can have it all now, why do I sometimes feel like I have nothing?

What is "all"? Is it a universally agreed defined amount? Hell no! Instead throw away your preconceived notion of what "all" is. Grab a piece of paper and a pen. Write down your own definition of "all." Please share your definition with us.


This week is killing me. I just started a new half-quarter class for my nursing school requirements, and it is one of the few I can't take online. So I'm in class four days a week, from 8:00am-12:30pm. Three of those days, I have just enough time to drive to work, where I stay until 8:00pm. Then I hurry home to deal with domestic duties, work on my school homework, deal with the insurance crap from the break-in, and maybe get some time to blog. By the time 11:00pm comes, I know I need to get to sleep, but my mind is still racing with all of the things I need to do for the next day. Eventually I drift off to sleep after midnight, only to wake at 5:00am (when Aaron wakes, even though he tries to be quiet, it often wakes me up for the day). Lather, rinse, repeat, collapse.

Would it help to sleep in separate rooms one night a week so you can catch up on your z's? Also, if your mind is racing with what you need to do and this is preventing you from sleeping. Remember that piece of paper and pen from earlier? Go get it. Write down EVERYTHING that is racing thru your mind. After you are done get back in bed. Make a deal with yourself that every time you begin to let your mind wander to what you need to do, you will physically turn your body over. I use this technique myself and I will admit my husband has referred to it as "sleeping with the fishes" because he says the flipping reminds him of a flounder. But you know what, when I do it, I end up getting to bed earlier because it forces me to shut my mind off.


I hate to whine about this. After all, I'm only working a part-time job, which I know is a luxury some don't have. There are many women out there putting in full time work, while still going to school part-time and taking care of their families. How do they do it?

As the gospel song goes, "Keep Your Eyes on the Prize", meaning school will eventually be over, you will have had a significant accomplishment and the end result will benefit you and your family. Keep the focus on the prize instead of how long it may take to or how difficult it may be to obtain.

The class I'm taking is only six weeks long, and after that I'll have a little more time again. But for the moment there are three days a week when I only get to see Cordy for 30 minutes in the morning, as I take her to wherever she is spending the day. By the time I get home, she's already in bed for the night.

Try writing her a little note from you that Daddy can read at bedtime, or whomever it is who is tucking her in. So you are "there" too. Then in the morning, you can talk to her about what you wrote to her the previous night. You may feel more connected that way as it continues from the previous night to the time you are now sharing with her in the morning.

It was because of scenarios like this that I quit my full time job a year ago. We had Cordy in daycare at the time, and five days a week we would have about an hour in the morning to spend time with her (while also getting ready for the day), and then an hour in the evening with her before her bedtime. Realizing that forced me even deeper into a depression that had gripped me since I was pregnant.

Consider making a list of the symptoms you experienced when you were struggling with depression. Keep it handy and check it often. This may help you to see if you end up slipping back, depression can pounce and catch you off guard, but if you are keeping track of your eating, sleeping and how you feel you are able to concentrate, that helps you to notice any redflags. Share the list with your husband and a couple of trusted friends who see you. This way others will know your red flags and understand when to step in and say, "Christina, we are concerned, let us help you."

I'm thankful I get to spend more time with her now. But I'm still juggling all of the responsibilities I have, trying not to drop any of them, but knowing that I can't give equal attention to everything. Eventually I'm going to lose a grip on one of them, and I'll either drop one, or they'll all come crashing down on me.

Think about the responsibilities. Which are longterm? Which are school related? Which are adult? Which are child centered? Then think about any other way they can get done. Are there friends who have offered to help and you haven't taken them up on it? Take em up on it. Can you afford to hire someone to do any of it? Can you barter with a friend? Realize that not everything need be #1 on your priority list and eventually everything will get the attention it needs when appropriate. Are any of these responsibilities favors for other people? If so, why not scale back and let people know that after you are done with school, you will pick up where you left off. Some you probably need to drop, some you can drop and some you should not drop. But sometimes you will drop em for a variety of reasons, some you can control others not, so cut yourself some slack!


During times like this, I sometimes wish I didn't have it all. Maybe life would have been easier if I was expected to be a housewife raising my children after I got married. Sure, I'd be entirely responsible for the housework, but right now I'm responsible for half of it, and my half is not doing so well at the moment.

Let's think reality and not fantasy. (Although a good fantasy thrown in here and there can certainly alleviate stress, but we digress...) Even women who are living life as you describe may not have ideal lives. Is anyone else concerned about your half? If not, let it go, if someone is, then ask for help or ask for help coming up with a solution to improve the situation. So often we think it should be all on us to fix, but if you've got others living with you, get them in on the action, that way everyone will be more vested in the success of the solution. Besides, If we all sat in a circle and put our troubles in the middle, we would look at the pile and grab our own back.

Don't worry, I'm not advocating a return to 1950's Norman Rockwell America, so you can get your panties out of a bunch, Linda Hirshman. For one, I don't think that kind of reality is viable anymore. The American economy practically demands a 2-income household today, or at the very least a large one-income household, which most people don't have, and which many in power right now would prefer to keep that way. (Hey Congress, what about that minimum wage increase, eh?)

Exactly, instead of turning it on yourself and feeling lousy, ask what society can do to help with the stress families are under right now. And *family* includes many more people besides parents. We are living in a society where all types of people are doing caregiving work in addition to their other work and they are exhausted and stressed.Hirshman and others put the pressure on the individual, we like what Miriam Peskowitz suggests. Make a fuss! Let legislators know what you think!

And I'm thankful women have all of the opportunities available to us today. We can go to school, we can be educated, and we can make the choice to work and raise a family at the same time. We can even choose to not marry and not have children! I'm thankful to be educated, and to have the freedom I do to write whatever I want and be given (hopefully) the same respect as a man. These are all Good Things, and we should be grateful to the women who came before us for carving out these freedoms for us.

Take this idea one step more and know you are modeling this for your own daughter and the women who will come after her. You are doing what the women before you did and give yourself some praise!

But when is it all too much? What do we do when we realize we have it all, but we're so far in over our heads that we're drowning and there appears to be no way out? Where do we draw the line and say enough is enough - we can't handle anymore? How do we decide what we must give up for our happiness and sanity?

When words like "depression," "anxiety" and "this is all too much" creep into our daily conversations, it is a red flag to step back and take an inventory. It is easy to feel trapped in a situation, especially one that has been ongoing. Maternal depression is very real. Find a friend, relative or mental health professional to just spill your heart and guts to. Dump all your problems, fears, anxiety on someone else and let them be a sounding board or a soft place for you to land.

The guilt I feel while writing this is tremendous. I am the modern Super Woman with family and career, and I should be ashamed for not wanting it all. I want more time to spend at the park. I want to go to Mommy & Me classes. I want time to work out and take care of myself. I want my daughter, and any other children we have, to grow up knowing that mommy can be counted on.

Let her know that, daddy, friends, neighbors, other relatives can all be counted on, in addition to mommy, because all of those people want the best for her (and others). Your guilt is understandable, we do get trapped into thinking we deserve to come last. That putting our needs high up on the priority list is somehow sacrificing our children. But this is not true. Children need to learn how to be counted on as adults and seeing you model what an adult does is extremely valuable to children.


My mother was a Super Woman by necessity - divorced, struggling to work as much as possible to support me, torn between working extra hours and spending time with me, and often gone when I needed her the most. I don't blame her for that, because she was making the best choices she could for us, but the thought of following in her footsteps and having to constantly choose between work and Cordy sometimes haunts me.

Oh there is The Haunting Thought: "Am I turning into my mother?" Copying what our own parents did right and skipping whatever was wrong is probably what parents agonize over the most. Even if we could accomplish this feat with perfection, the reality is our kids will certainly find new faults in us anyway and we will still be accused of being "dumb, wearing the wrong clothes, saying the wrong thing, ruining their lives..." You remember the stuff you said to wasn't parents right? It wasn't always pretty and it wasn't always true. We're not going to be spared either. You will be damned if you do, damned if you don't anyway. If you know your mom was making the best choices she could, why then would Cordy think any less of you? She won't! She will understand too. You can even ask your mom how she succeeded in getting you to understand this about her choices, if you think she helped with that. Or you can think about how you got to that conclusion and teach Cordy.

Just last night I told Aaron that I thought he was so much stronger of a person than me, because he can handle working full time, doing theatre in the evenings, and still make time for Cordy and me and his share of the housework. He must have more fortitude than I do. Poor man - I know he's going to read this, and I'm sure my constant harping on this topic probably makes him feel bad, although that isn't my intention. (The plight of men trying to have it all is an entirely different post.)

Time to drag out the wedding pictures and video if you have it. Most of us vowed to be there in some way or another for the other at our wedding. Instead of assuming how he is feeling, ask him to sit with you and really talk about it all. He may have some ideas and suggestions which may take the pressure off a bit. Remember who you married and what attracted you to them in the first place, before things got insane, this is what gets you thru these tough times.

Aaron is a good provider for the family, an excellent husband and father, and probably puts up with far more from me than he should. I'm sure when we married he never imagined that once we had children I would go on an "I want to be a SAHM!" whine-fest. After all, we both planned to work, and I planned to continue my telecommuting job so I could work full time and stay home full time. But things don't always turn out how we plan them. I can only hope that once our children are in school (or at least preschool), I will be happy to work full-time again, bring home the big bucks, and give him the freedom to quit his job to pursue his talent in theatre full-time.

This is an excellent start to writing down your short term and long term goals. Write goals down for yourself, Aaron writes his and then you write goals together as a couple and ones you have as parents too. Have some short term ones and some long term ones. Sometimes just having it in writing makes everyone feel like their input matters and their ideas are valued.

In the meantime, something has to give. I just don't know what.

We think after you take a look at our suggestions you will be be able to let some things go and feel okay about it. What do you think?

Mind the Gap, Build A Bridge

Following the publication of this Globe and Mail article, Aviva and I became inundated with emails and interview requests. People want to know why any expert would say "Of course it is" in answer to the question "Is motherhood boring?"

What we have expanded upon when asked is that it goes further than "Motherhood is boring". It isn't an epiphany that parts of parenting are tedious, repetitive and about as entertaining as watching paint dry. (Her Bad Mother made a wonderful point about this in the article.)

What Aviva and I had hoped would get across in the article is it hurts society when parents lack support. It is particularly frustrating as we watch parents admit they are struggling and then parents (and others in society) condemn them for their admission . This was certainly underscored in the many letters to the editor dripping with moral judgments ranging from saying these parents did not deserve children to guilt inducing statements about infertility. My friend Tracy put it this way when she we were talking about how the judgments were flying after this article was published. “It's very nice to hold the moral high ground, I guess. But once you're a saint, what opportunity is there for advancement?"

It was disheartening to realize the article became a fence between parents instead of a bridge to connect parents to one another where ideas could be shared. For example the mom who expressed bedtime stories bore her. It is possible that this mom may not have thought about using a different spin on it. Maybe if readers had taken a moment to look deeper, we would have read a letter to the editor which included a suggestion or two:

Such as instead of reading a story, how about making one up using your imagination? Or reading the story and having Barbie and some stuffed animals act out the story? Or even ditching the idea of reading altogether and instead listening to music with your child and cuddling? There are other things you can do, it doesn't have to be either/or!

Let's follow our kids lead and say "Do over", and instead of judging these struggling parents, let's lend a hand, lend an ear and offer them a couple of parenting tools almost all of us try our best to utilize as much as possible; patience and understanding.

(Oh, and while you have those tools handy, please keep them readily available as we have gotten off schedule with the stuff we said we would tackle last week!)

Our week? Positive Mental Octopus

Update: Aviva and I were honored to be chosen for Crazed Parent Five!



Before I titled this post, I had to make sure that Positive Mental Octopus didn't have some other kind of meaning. So I checked my latest favorite place for such things, http://www.urbandictionary.comThis is a useful resource, particularly for parents of teens/young adults. While the words and phrases teens and other use may not be ones any of us need to add our own conversations, at least you now have a place you can check and keep on down low so your kids won't know how you know what they are talkin' about.

So back to Positive Mental Octopus. Essentially what this means for Aviva and me is we have some good stuff happening which is keeping us very busy and we wish we had 8 arms!

Here are a couple of things we will be doing this week, so please check back in the next couple of days.

1. We will be posting the top 5 slogans and asking for you to vote for your favorite.

2. Christina from A Mommy's Story wrote this post last week and I made her an offer she didn't refuse! Read about that here. Later this week we will be walking Christina thru the first Mommy Guilt-free Principle "Learn to let some things go". Then keep coming back as we do the same for even more moms using a different Mommy Guilt-free principle per parent each week!

PBS, you gonna fire Kermit too?

Jim Henson's own son is behind this production. So now in addition to Melanie and the issues raised about why this made as much sense as deciding, after you have become a parent, you won't see George Carlin, take in an Alec Baldwin movie or listen to the Beatles ever again because Ringo Star, George Carlin and Alec Baldwin "undermined their characters" by appearing on Thomas The Tank.

C'mon PBS, sing along with us, "One of these things is not like the other..." What if Number 8 and the Letter G decide to pull their support and refuse to bring us Sesame Street?

I don't mean to harp on a small issue in a big world, but I'm really disappointed in PBS right now because I feel their actions may persuade people to believe adulthood is always a bad influence on childhood. These beliefs then may foster a breeding ground for parental guilt.

Rant over. Back to our regular scheduled programming....

Remember Our Slogan Contest! Deadline August 14!

Parentopia Slogan Contest - Deadline August 14

We need a catchy and meaningful slogan to accompany our logo.

Parentopia is getting ready to slap on some bumper stickers, parade around in T-shirts and plaster our information on all kinds of fun and interesting items in order to help spread the word about our site and what we do here. We are asking you, our readers, fellow bloggers, and anyone who just happened to click "next blog" or landed here Googling "brown goo on wall" to help us come up with something fabulous!

You can post your entries in our comment section, or submit them via email! You can enter as many times as you like.

The winner receives a free copy of our book, Mommy Guilt and that's not all!

We will personalize it per your instructions. and...

We will call the winner on Mother's Day, Father's Day, Grandparents' Day, your birthday, Groundhog day- you name it- based on what works best for you and your family.

Act now! Operators are standing by!

(Okay, it's really just Devra and me checking our comment section and email a lot. But still...)

Britney Spears Night with the Newark Bears. Cheap Seat or Cheap Shot?

This is the description on AOL about the Newark Bears Baby Safety Night. Here is the description of the event from the Newark Bears' web site. Now, the idea is to promote baby safety. (Not going to go here, as I don't' know how rampant this type of fetishism is in Newark and maybe it wasn't enough of an issue for the Bears' PR people to take under consideration). like the manner in which the Newark Bears is promoting this event looking far more like a cheap shot than a public service to the community.

Since when do the under 4 year old set begin attending evening baseball games? Not that I am against it, I think some kids and babies can handle it, but for many kids this is dangerously close to bedtime. What about the parents who will be sitting in the stands with their babies and small children for hours? Sure they have a choice not to attend, but realistically, we know people are going to do it. This is, after all, what the Bears are hoping for, they want the parents there as they are the ones with the wallets and purses (or since we are dealing with the Tri-State area, pocketbooks). Baby safety, while a noble cause, is not the primary motive in these kind of promotions. If a team wants to really make it about the children, then host the event later in the season at a day game when the weather is cooler.

While the Bears acknowledge Britney's "public mishaps were far from intentional" what is their intention by making fun of a new mom? Baby safety? Okay, let's go with that. Definitely give the baby safety information out! Absolutely give away car seats! But also consider parents and the other attendees who may end up dealing with overtired, bored and unhappy children, kids who don't quite understand the beauty of the game and have not yet developed an appreciation for this great American pastime. Think about how this may play out knowing...Kids need their sleep. Sleep deprivation is running rampant for both adults and children we will have a far less cranky society if we all could just get the z's we need. (I know. Getting that kind of sleep is a fantasy, and not a titillating one at that!)

If however you will be taking your child out to the ball game (or any event)which lasts more than an hour, here are some considerations:

1. Prepare for the idea you may not stay until the fat lady sings. If you aren't willing to leave if your child is bored out of their mind or making the experience miserable for you (and possibly those around you) then consider skipping the game or finding a sitter, family member or friend to babysit.

2. Find out if you can bring your own snacks/water to the venue. Most arenas have concession stands, but they are very pricey.

3. Bring a toy or two, or a book for your child which either you can read to them or they can read by themselves.

4. Prior to attending the event, if your child is old enough, tell them about what they will be seeing and hearing during the course of the game. For example, some fans do get rowdy and may yell and curse. Be prepared to be asked questions about that, or at least consider what your child will be exposed to during the game and be pro-active about it.

5. Ask about whether or not smoking is permitted in the stands. If so, consider the amount of smoke your child will be exposed to and if this is an issue, you may want to reconsider attending with your child.

6. Consider attending with another family so you can take turns with bored or unhappy kids. Share the stress with others!

7. Decide on your souvenir policy. Will you buy souvenirs at the event or will you buy them prior and wear them to the event? Weigh your options and see which one fits best with your budget. If you already have some "fan gear" your children may be less likely to ask for the overpriced stuff at the event.

8. Sunscreen, sunscreen, sunscreen!

9. Check and see if the team has any special "kids club". Sometimes teams have special events for kids and often they are free or at a reduced price.

10. Have fun as a family. Create family cheers, design your own spirit wear or team signs you can bring with you.

Lastly, give yourself and others a break, parenting kids in the public eye is no picnic. We can certainly empathize with Britney on that one. Play ball!

This just in:I guess the Bengals have had enough. They have set up a hotline to report obnoxious behavior. Can we consider this a step towards making ballparks more friendly for everyone, or a sad commentary on how adults are having a harder time controlling their behavior than they once did? Probably a little of both.

"Mommy, I'm bored!" Oh Wait. I'm the mom!

Hooray for freelance journalist Helen Kirwan-Taylor for having the guts to put on paper, "Sorry, but my children bore me to death!" The uproar about this article, illustrates a societal problem we are experiencing. Our children are taking over everything and the expectation is we are supposed to not only go along with this, but we are supposed to like it and be content with that kind of thing. When did we begin having children because they are entertaining? When did we become opening acts for our children's entertainment? This is not why parents and children exist. While the article starts with a bit of a harsh undertone, Kirwan-Taylor goes on to make a very good point: Women today are pressured to feel guilty and inadequate if they are not completly child-centric - having all aspects of their life revolve around children. This includes women who do not have children. Just look at some of the articles being written about pinning moms against women without kids. Crazy!

These days when you ask someone under the age of 18 (maybe even older) if they know how to twiddle their thumbs, chances are, you will get a blank stare. In trying to be everything for our children, we have done them a great disservice; they do not know how to cope with boredom. We are ending up with a generation that needs constant interaction, immediate gratification, has no patience and has no clue how to self entertain or self gratify. Does anyone recognize this is detrimental?

Kirwan-Taylor also makes a very good point about parents needing to be adults- people with hobbies, work, school, friends, etc. Again, if our children only see us as parents, how are they going to learn about what they want to be when they grow up? Sure they can become parents, but there are many more roles people have in the course of one's life. We must portray our entire selves to them - careers, hobbies, interests and disinterests (even if their favorite thing to do is our least favorite to watch). We seem to have no problem taking a holistic approach to health. Let's carry this over to adulthood.

I encourage you to read her article and find the real message for yourself. She tells you she loves her children. She and her children seem to have mutual respect for each other and value each others real interests - no pretending to be someone or something they are not. She chose to go out on a limb with a bold statement. The limb is definitely bending but let's hope it doesn't break before everyone gets a chance to crawl out onto the branch and show our children we can swing by our knees too.