How Fearless Can Be Fun

I had just turned the big 3 - 0, I had 2 young daughters and we had been in our house less than a year. I was approaching just about everything with a little fear and a lot of confusion. My family loved living in Loveland, the kids loved their schools, my husband had his new business and I had my hands in all of it to some extent. The only thing missing was something of my very own. You know, a social outlet or some kind of activity that didn't involve kids, husband or work.

I was flipping the pages of the local paper and saw an announcement for the first rehearsal of the Loveland Choral Society's spring production, Cruisin' thru the '50s. I had grown up singing and dancing my way through middle school and high school. I even took a voice performance class and taught ballet for a while in college. I hadn't sung in a choir for about 6 years, though and hadn't set foot on a stage for well over 10. I figured there was no harm in going to the first rehearsal, so on a cold January evening... off I went. My only fear was not being able to find the theater.

I arrived only to discover that this was no ordinary choral group. The show was to be a fully staged production with choreography and script. My heart began to race as a remembered all those past performances I had done. Then, it missed a beat as I heard the date for auditions. Anyone can sing in the chorus but auditions were to be held for solos and small groups. Without a second thought, I immediately decided I would be happy in the chorus. I hardly knew these people and had no idea what kind of talent I would be up against.

When I got home that night I told my husband how excited I was to have found this group. I told him the chorus would be great. He told me to just go audition. He was sure that since I had done this kind of stuff before, it would be a piece of cake. He has no idea how wrong he was. I was petrified. There were 2 more rehearsals before auditions so I told him I would think about it.

Well, 3 weeks passed and I figured I'd go for it. I showed up for my audition and I knew I was a wreck. When the musical director asked me about my experience, I casually rattled off about a dozen shows I had done in the past, many I even had leads in. Of course, I left out the little fact that it was all over a decade ago. The pianist began to play and, if nothing else, I showed my tremendous range! My voice was shaking so much I think I hit every note on the keyboard!! The director politely thanked me for coming in and I swore I would never set foot in that theater again!

Over the course of the next few days, I realized that the choreographer, Cindy, had a daughter at school with my daughter and we began to talk. I told her how nerve racking the entire experience had been for me and she assured me that she and the musical director had both heard worse ( I am fairly certain she was just trying to make me feel better). She convinced me to show up at rehearsal the next week and stay in the cast. I agreed to it and told her a little about my theater and dance background.

Fast forward to production week. It's the night before dress rehearsal and the young gal who was suppose to dance the tango, up and walks out - quits the show. Cindy asked if I thought I could do it. "Sure," I told her - no problem. I've been dancing since I was 3 years old. I got home, ripped apart my closet and found the perfect black lace dress (mother-in-law gift). At dress rehearsal the next night, I was ready. I had a 45 second costume change to go from cutesy little Elvis fan to sultry tango woman. I had one cast member whip off my red dress while the next one yanked on my black lace. I made the change and was back on stage... sort of. My tango partner had completely missed his cue and there I stood all alone when I heard a little voice say, "Aviva, I don't think we got your dress on quite right." I looked down and the black lace was all that existed between the people in the theatre and the bottom half of my body. In the course of pulling the dress on over my head, the lining was stuck on my chest. Yes, here I am - new member and exhibitionist! We fixed the dress, my partner arrived and the rehearsal continued. The next night, I stepped into the dress instead. Live and learn, right!

It's been 10 years since all of that began (now you all know how old I am...) and you know what? For the last 8 of those years I have not only continued to perform with the group but became the stage director. You see, after baring all (literally) to the group, I figured I better save face (and ass) somehow. I began by making subtle suggestions for improvements, then doing a little choreography and before I realized what had happened, I was completely embraced by the group and asked to lead them. I still get nervous on stage - I'd probably be more worried if I didn't get a bit of that nerve adrenaline going - but being part of this group is more fun than most people should legally be allowed to have!

And now, my blog friends, it is off to opening night of season 10!