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Love Thursday: Showin' the Love to MotherTalk, PunditMom and The Pumpkin Patch

Tonight I had the pleasure of attending the first MotherTalk Book Salon of 2007.

What a lovely evening! The salon was hosted by blogger and journalist PunditMom and featured an author who has written what must be a fascinating book chronicaling her journey, as a single woman, to the Ukraine for the purpose of adopting two children.

Author, Margaret Schwartz, read from her book "The Pumpkin Patch: A Single Woman's International Adoption Journey" . Her story evoked a discussion which touched on a myriad of adoption related issues such as:

International versus domestic adoption

Cultural differences in the acceptance of adoption or placing a child for adoption.

Who determines the availability of a child to be adopted and how long the process can take from beginning to end

The monetary cost of adoption

Seriously, there were hands flying up all over the room with questions and the real beauty of having a MotherTalk event? The author is sitting right there in the room to answer those questions. Reader's guide? You don't need no stinkin' readers guide!

I love books, I love discussions, I love MotherTalk and I love hearing about experiences in parenting. So that friends is my Love Thursday for this week!

Guess What? Wharton Executive Education and UBS Launch “Career Comeback,” A New Program For Women Re-Entering The Workforce...Pass it on!

Have you had your career on ice for 2-7 years? Are you ready to hit the defrost button and go back to work? Say it with us, "Yes I am, but Devra/Aviva you know it's really hard to transition back to the business world. I'm not sure I can do it. I've been out of it a long time. Plus, I'm not sure I have the money to spend on training..." Oh the list of obstacles can be endless and it can be frustrating,and transitions aren't easy, but we have good news. AND we've got the inside scoop before the press release hits the media tomorrow!

The Wharton School of Business and UBS are going to help you make that career comeback!

Sisterfriends,and others, read on...

Today we were given an advance heads-up announcement of a FREE, yes that is right, FREEEEEEEEE, program which will be taking place March 3-4th, 2007 at the University of Pennsylvania and continued on March 5th in New York City. This is a program designed for women who have an advanced degree, such as an MBA, and have had their career in the freezer for 2-7 years.

We've never been silent about our opinion that big business needs to step up to the plate and realize employer flexibility and family friendly policies benefit everyone, not just parents. This is a people issue people! There are plenty of people who interrupt their careers for a variety of reasons.

It is fairly common knowledge that women in particular are certainly hit the hardest when they try to reintegrate into the workforce after an extended period of absence. Particularly in fields of expertise that have been historically dominated by men who were not taking a hiatus to care for other family members.

According to a 2004-2005 study conducted at UPENN by Academic Director Monica McGrath PhD and two Wharton alumnae (Marla Driscoll and Mary Gross), "43 percent of the women surveyed stayed out of the workforce longer than they expected, and 87 percent of those who initially never planned to return to work changed their minds."

If women are staying out longer, then it's logical that it would be tougher to come back in. There is a lot of change that can occur in the world of business over a year, let alone 7! It's not only tough to keep up with the goings on of a family, but can you imagine also trying to keep up on the latest changes in software, financial investing and International business relations at the same time?! Toddlers are gonna tell you "Mommy, that's crazy talk!" But in the words of Prince (who is actually called Prince again and no longer must be referred to as Font) "Let's Go Crazy!"

Maybe just maybe the times they are a changin' and corporations are coming to grips with the idea that family policy IS corporate policy and will be win/win for everyone.

It is our understanding that this fellowship program is an extension of an existing mindset at UBS which is "when women inform UBS they are going to leave their jobs, UBS does whatever it can to get them back." Meaning that UBS is attentive to what these women will need when they are ready to stage that all imporant career comeback. This is a substantial improvement from a couple of years ago when UBS was ordered to pay a former UBS female executive 29 million dollars because she had been discriminated against, so we are encouraged to see UBS underwrite this program for Wharton.

When we read about this fellowship program and what it is designed to do, and by whom, we yelled, "AMEN!" It's the right thing to do in a world where it seems like so many have forgotten how to just do the right thing because it is the right thing to do.

Let us know if you sign up and go. We'd love to hear about how you defrosted your career and not only reheated it, but set it on FIRE!

Birthdays Without Pressure- Check them out!

This is William Doherty a professor at the University of Minnesota.

Aviva and I heart him!

We think you will too if you are struggling with Mommy Guilt-free Principle #2 "Parenting is not a competitive sport".

Doherty noticed that in his Minnesota community parents were feeling a great deal of pressure to "one up" each other on, of all things, birthday parties for their offspring. So he decided to do something about it. He got together with Linda Zwicky, a mom who admits she experienced party pressure but then decided her kid didn't need any more bouncy balls in his life, and they co-founded the organization "Birthdays Without Pressure".

The organization features a website which includes stories shared by parents about the party pressures as well as tips on how to plan pressure free parties your entire family can enjoy.

Our new boy crush, William ,discovered this pressure problem was alive and kickin' in Minnesota, but we know it spans the globe.

Do you find that parents are competing in your town, city, country when it comes to birthday parties?

Moms Rock... and roll and sing and dance...

This entry is cross-posted at MAMAPALOOZA!
I have succeeded in doing something that is too cool for my daughter to accept. I am on YouTube!

In October, my daughter and I had the pleasure of singing in a gospel concert as members of the Loveland Choral Society (LCS) with very special guest...Hazel Miller! And yes, you read that correctly - the Jewish girls sang gospel. As it turns out, some of the songs are now posted on YouTube. How cool is that?! OK, so my daughter was a bit mortified by it all but I thought it was cool.

I am loving the fact that I can pursue something I love to do as a person - not necessarily as a mom, employer, wife, employee, or any other label - just as ME! One night every week I leave my house to sing my heart out. Our singing group includes men and women from high school age up. The best part for me, though, is hanging out with the other moms and dads who aren't being moms and dads for those hours either. Sure, we all have cell phones set to vibrate, out of respect for others, (and possibly for our own personal pleasure. Shhhh!) and we are available in case of a real emergency but the talk in the orchestra seating and on the stage is focused on the song at hand.

As I am the stage director for LCS, I also get the pleasure of encouraging everyone in the group to have fun! Rehearsals for our spring show got underway last week and I couldn't be happier. People I haven't seen since our last show are back. We have new faces joinging us. No matter how cold or snowy it is outside, we are a warm and cozy group - a family away from my family! We all encourage each other to chase our fun, no matter how crazy it may seem. In fact, we recently lost one of our top singers to a rock band. And she's not one of the high school kids either. This is a grandmother who rocks and isn't sittin' in a chair to do it!

I encourage everyone - mom, dad, grandma, grandpa - to chase your passions. Whatever your passion...music, dance, writing, racing, or anything.

I say, "Go For It!" (find me in the front row)

And, if you manage to "freak out" your teenager along the way, you're probably doing a great job at it!! Better yet, pursue it and brag about it - put it in our comments, give us a link. Or even better, tell us you are on YouTube!

Digging Out and Cabin Fever

Here I sit - snow storm # 4 in as many weeks out here in Colorado. Today was clean the house day. I suppose we could have done that when we were snowed in the first time but no one really wanted to - me included. Instead, we took advantage of the fact that we had to stay home and we made it fun.

First we played some cards games, ate dinner and played some more cards. Then, the six of us - one daughter had a friend snowed in with us - squashed together on the couch, watched a movie, ate popcorn, drank hot chocolate, hot tea and hot toddys for mom and dad. We didn't care how late it got. We buried all the school night rules in a snow bank and hung out.

The younger kids went to sleep around 11:00 and our teenage daughter stayed up for a late night movie with us. We picked one that wouldn't embarass any of us but was a little over the heads of the slumbering siblings. It was a fun evening for everyone!

The next snow in, we brought out more games that had been gathering dust in the game closet. We played more cards and we cranked up some tunes.

Snow in #3 was much shorter and included homework. Maybe not as much fun for the kiddos but it was still nice to not be able to do any running around.

That brings us to today. The house is finally picked up (still not clean by my mother's standards) and everyone is happily hanging out indoors. Once the temperature rises a few degrees, the sleds and snow clothes are sure to come out!

Of course, Devra called me the other day to tell me it was in the 70's and people are in shorts - biatch.

Happy winter to all (no matter the conditions) and share some cabin fever ideas with the rest of us!

The Best Parenting Blogs in a Beehive

We had a total cow when we found out we were included in this awesome list of parenting blogs at Hive list! Go check it out and enjoy!

Happy De-Lurking Week!

Props go out to Goon Squad Sarah for reminding us about National De-Lurking Week.

Tell us about how you came to find Parentopia and thanks for stopping by and de-lurking!

Twenty Thousand? This isn't the final number by far

Last night as I listened to President Bush speak of his plan to send twenty thousand troops to Iraq my first thought was not about tactics or terrorism, my first thought was "Oh no! That's well over twenty thousand people being impacted by this decision!" Every time we send more troops, there is a ripple effect which extends to family, friends and co-workers.

After the president spoke, I listened to the commentary of two retired generals who both maintained that twenty thousand troops wasn't a large number of people compared to the 4 million who live in the region where they will be deployed. Sure, if you put it that way, yeah, it doesn't sound like that many. But let's remember that all of these people, the twenty thousand, have families and others who love and care about them. The number jumps up fairly quickly to more than twenty thousand who will be impacted by this decision.

Military families, and those who know them, are very stressed right now and it isn't just the ones who are deployed either. Keep in mind that when military personnel are deployed from a military installation, the remainder of the military must work harder and longer hours in order to keep our military "mission ready." This means that even more families are effected as shifts get added or operations get increased in their squadrons and units. Additionally, when National Guard and Reservists are activated, their civilian co-workers must take on added duties too, much like what is happening on military installations. Just because the workers are absent, doesn't mean their workload is put on hold until they return.

Right now we have millions of people who are waiting to find out of their loved ones will be included in that twenty thousand. Again, this is far more people than twenty thousand who will be emotionally invested in what happens next. Anxiety levels are already increasing every day until the deployments are announced, in all branches of service at every level, on the military installations and in our communities. As Tom Petty put it so well "The waiting is the hardest part". Being in limbo is a stressful state. At least once a decision is made, one can make some kind of plan.


If you are aware of anyone who may need support a good place to begin is Military OneSource. They are available 24/7 and are an excellent resource and serve all branches of the military and can give referrals as well. There are many articles about deployment which can be viewed by the general public as well as military members.

I know we have mentioned this before, but given the events of this week, I felt it might be helpful to repost the information about an audio conference Aviva and I participated in this past fall,

"Guilt-free Parenting: Supporting our Military Families During Challenging Times"

and it includes information for families and care providers who know or work with military families.


Regardless of how any of us may feel politically about the deployment of more troops, we all must agree that far more than twenty thousand people will be impacted by this decision and we must, as a concerned community, care about the ripple effect of this decision and how it will effect and affect family, friends and co-workers. Let us extend ourselves to others and be compassionate as it looks like we may have a long way to go before this war is over.

Try it, you'll like it. 2007 is here!

La,our webmaster,greeted 2007 as a Parentopia Pirate. I suppose we could let her know it's not an eye patch.




















Hell no! Why ruin her fun? There needs to be more fun.

When we are having fun, we feel better physically as well as emotionally. So while we generally abhor New Year's resolutions because they usually bring on even more guilt, we do support resolutions to have as much fun as possible. Fun doesn't have to be expensive, and with quite a few holidays under our collective belt, many of us could use some cheap thrills.

Here is a list of 10 things you can try in order to incorporate more fun into your life without spending a dime:

1. Smile

2. Tickle someone.

3. Turn up some music and dance. (Devra's favorite place to dance is in the kitchen while preparing meals with her family.)

4. Stomp in rain puddles. With or without your kids!

5. Play dress Up and go public. See if anyone else notices you are sporting a look such as Madonna, John Travolta, MC Hammer, Ben Franklin... The choices are endless!

6. Midday phone sex with your special someone.

7. Sing in the car (Aviva is a pro when it comes to doing this and she gets a kick out of seeing the expressions on the faces of other drivers as she belts out Broadway.)

8. Pick up a hobby, it can be something old or something new. Hell, it can even be borrowed or blue. Why limit yourself? Just try something!

9. Incorporate "Life is uncertain Eat Dessert First" night. Serve a meal in reverse order without warning.

10. Bust thru bedtime once in a while. Stay up late, make popcorn, drink Mountain Dew then sleep in. Schedule? You don't need no stinkin' schedule!


What are you going to do for cheap thrills in 2007?