Meal Time Mayhem Relief

For many families meal time is just not that enjoyable. Let's work on this a bit...

One mom friend we know felt her kids (ages 3years old thru-11years old) had learned table manners, but somehow they kept managing to lose them in between washing their hands before a meal and clearing the dishes from the table. She could no longer take the stress of mealtime and knew that her own yelling about the deplorable manners was not helping create a serene dining experience either. She decided to create and post a list of "Table Tips" right on the wall near the kitchen table.

Before any at home meal begins, the tips are read together as a family. Initially the kids were not happy about the crack down on manners and certainly were not thrilled about reading the tips every single meal, but after a while they incorporated the reading of the tips into a fun family ritual; the kids exaggerate the emphasis on the words in capital letters and whisper the other words.

Mealtimes are much more enjoyable as the kids know what is expected of them and have even made up a fun way of reading the rules.

Here are the tips her family uses, but like anything we suggest here at Parentopia, keep what you like, ditch what you don't or merely alter it to work for your family since you are the one eating with them!

TABLE TIPS:
(or “How to avoid getting in trouble at mealtime”)

• DO NOT PLAY at the table under any circumstances.

• Sit up and eat OVER YOUR PLATE. Remain seated during the meal.

• Use silver wear. Use it correctly. Use a napkin. Use it correctly.

• Use POLITE conversation at all times. Be considerate of other diners at all times.

• Eat SMALL BITES and CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSED.

• Taste everything at least ONCE. Keep bad opinions to yourself.

• Compliment the cook.

• Help CLEAN UP. Before you leave, ask, “Is there anything else I can do to help?”.

• Enjoy your meal!

If you've got your own ideas for making meal time less stressful share them, or if you need suggestions, post your situation in our comment area and we can all brainstorm together.

Working Mother Magazine's Top 100 Companies. Thinking about applying? Inquire Within.

For the past 21 years Working Mother Magazine has published their 100 Best Companies which are deemed by the magazine to be the "family-friendliest companies in America". But wait, before you rush to apply for a position at one of these companies, you might wanna take a look at this:

100 best companies for working mothers … are they really the best?

Smiles for Life and Mommy Guilt Absolution

This mom has a bright smile. I want one too! Did I ever think that my passion for coffee and Diet Coke with Lime would bring me to write a post about how a visit to your dentist might help absolve mommy guilt? Of course not. But guess what? It is true!



"But Devra, that sounds like crazy talk!" Not so. Here's why.

How many of us would like to do something just for us but then the mommy guilt creeps in and tells us "no, it's too much money, too much time, not enough time, too much energy, too little energy, I don't really need it, I can wait for another time, I'll do it after..." you get the picture. We talk ourselves out of it.

I just found out about a program some dentists are participating in where are teeth whitened AND I get to give a donation to help needy families. The dentists donate their services too! In addition to all of that, the teeth whitening is being offered at a discount. SCORE!

Here is the website where you can find out if a dentist near you is participating: Smiles For Life

If teeth whitening isn't your thing, then look for other kinds of services being offered in your community at a discount. There are some hair salons who do cut-a-thons for charities, and some restaurants offer fundraising nights too.

Kool and the Gang, Whodini and Devra

Want to know more? Go check out my guest post over at Sarah and the Goon Squad.

Happy Mardi Gras!

Here is me practicing what I preach. Having fun while parenting solo. When my husband is deployed or the military needs him and he is unable to take vacation, the kids and I are known to hit the road. Here is what we've been doing over the past 4 years. Celebrating Mardi Gras with the Parentopia webmaster and her kids!



When you find yourself flying solo, one option is to take a road trip together!

Mommy Guilt Absolution for Bloggers

I received an email from a friend. She wanted absolution from blog-related mommy guilt.

This mom had written a blog detailing her family's evacuation before and during Hurricane Katrina and the year in the life of her family following their evacuation. Now that the family is resettled, she felt her blog had run its course and she had achieved what she had set out to do.

Now what?

Mommy Guilt! Why keep the blog up any longer if it is no longer active? The thought of deleting it made her feel guilty about not having the history for her kids. But keeping it wasn't really a solution either. Continuing to have the blog posted produced guilt about not keeping the blog current. The other issue, which is not a guilt producer merely a reality, is who knows how long her blog host will keep the information anyway. One day it could all get deleted at the whim of the site where the blog is kept.

Got me thinking that there must be other bloggers who need some absolution from this kind of Mommy Guilt. With so many parents using the blogosphere to journal about the lives of their family, certainly Mommy Guilt can occur if offline life can no longer be chronicled online, due to whatever reason.

So, I hunted around the net and found Burb a site which, for a price, will turn your blog into a bound book. I'm sure there are other sites which do the same thing, so you may wish to do some surfing on the Net. Another option, which is less fancy, is putting your blog onto a CD/DVD, or the old school "printing it out on a printer".

Bottom line there are some options. Mommy Guilt is easier to absolve when you've got options!

We've got the balls to write about that scrotum thing

A recent article in the New York Times reported a bruhaha regarding a Newbery Medal winning children's book, "The Higher Power of Lucky" by Susan Patron.

Does the book graphically depict a school shooting? Does it include pornographic pictures? Does it give instructions on how to make a vodka infused Shirley Temple? Does it come with a Do-It-Yourself body piercing and tattoo kit?

Nope. The freak factor is the word "scrotum".

We've got this to say about it. "Please calm down." Seriously.

The use of the word scrotum isn't even in reference to a human. It refers to a character in the book describing his DOG being bit on the scrotum by a rattlesnake. It's not discussing a human scrotum. And even if it were. So what.

We've encountered many a child who has been fascinated by a dog that hasn't been neutered. Kids notice that stuff on their own. However, we've yet to see a child as fascinated by a human scrotum, unless it was attached to said child or accidentally encountered in a family locker room at the beach. Feral butts? Yes. Feral scrotums? Not so much.

However a librarian at Halsted Middle School in Newton, N.J. is quoted in the article as saying, “If I were a third- or fourth-grade teacher, I wouldn’t want to have to explain that.” What is "that"? A dog being bit on the scrotum by a rattlesnake?

It's not that complicated to explain that to children. Really. If a child asks about that, answer the question. The kid may not even be wondering about why anyone has a scrotum or what it is used for. Keep in mind answering The Unasked may set sails into uncharted water neither you nor the child is ready to navigate.

If you are unsure of what prompted a child's question, ask a couple of your own before you continue to press on. Clarify what is being asked and even why. Then answer. No need to go beyond the question being asked unless you feel the kid really needs to know. Most Kids are like reporters at a press conference, they will ask a follow-up if they want to know more!

Try to consider themes in books, and the actions/thoughts of characters, ,may be used as a vehicle to talk with children about a variety of subjects in a manner that is far less uncomfortable, threatening,or even embarrassing ,because it allows the subject to be discussed impersonally, yet the opportunity exists during the course of the discussion to reinforce your own value system with your child.

In the meantime, please ask your school or local librarian to weigh in on the following:

When out in public, non-neutered Great Danes should wear underwear. Pro? Con?

Or we can have fun experimenting with blog polling...

Get Free Opinion Polls

Pride and Panties For Us

Ever hear the expression "Put on your big girl panties and deal with it"? What if your big girl panties are old or, dare we say it, ratty? When was the last time you were proud of your panties?

We all deserve to feel good in the clothes we are in. They need not be the most expensive nor flashy, merely clean and sans holes will cover the basics (as well as more if you are walking around in ensembles with rips!) I know, it seems small in the grand scheme of life, but we want you to wear your panties proudly...and the rest of your wardrobe too!

Many moms are so overcome with Mommy Guilt that spending any time (or money) on themselves leaves them feeling as if they are somehow neglecting the needs of their family. How many of you dress your kids in "the latest" but you are wearing a schmatte?

Here is an opportunity our stalker fan Phil emailed us about today. We don't often write about contests but this one sounded like one we would feel okay about promoting on our blog.

We like the focus of this contest which is on what people love about their clothing, instead of what they hate about their bodies in clothing. We like that it focuses on the experience we enjoy while wearing the clothes instead of making a claim that obtaining a particular type of clothing adds enjoyment to your experiences. We like that the focus is on the positive aspects of how we live our lives and not on who is "better" at doing laundry or some equally stupid mommy war crap.

We also like that the winner will receive a $5,000 shopping spree! (Well, actually Devra really likes it. I'd prefer cold hard cash because I hate to shop and need Lasik!)

At any rate, 5G's should put you in plenty of big girl panties so you can take on the world. Even if you don't end up winning the contest, go get yourself some panties to be proud in or do something else you've been thinking about but haven't done for yourself. You deserve it and your family will benefit from your new found happiness!

Celebrate Valentine's Day in an Odd Way

We were tagged for the 5 Odd Things Meme by Becky. We in turn tag Anne-Marie cuz she's writing about some good eats and has some awesome recommendations for books and recipes the entire family can enjoy together.

5 Odd Things About Devra

1. My first crush was Chuck Scarborough, anchor for NewsCenter4, New York. (I was 6 years old, people. So don't give me too much grief!)

2. Hi, my name is Devra and I am addicted to flannel pajamas. I cruise Ebay late at night jonesing for jammies.

3. I own original seats from Mile High Stadium so our family can watch the Denver Broncos the right way and in Orange and Blue style.

4. While I am somewhat of a gourmet, I cannot boil an egg. I've tried, I can't. If you ever meet my husband give the guy a deviled egg. He loves them, yet I cannot make them. He's a good man, he deserves a good egg.

5. Technically I am one inch above the height requirement to sit safely in the front seat of a car, let alone drive one. If it is true that people shrink as they get older, I may have to move into a booster seat in a few years.


5 Odd Things About Aviva

1. No one in my house will load the dishwasher because they know I will unload and reload according to my own standard.

2. My mother, my daughters and Devra have banned me from wearing beige which is a color I am inextricably drawn to. They tell me it washes me out, but I don't believe them. (Psst, if you have anything beige, please send it to me, they raided my closet and took it all away!)

3. I hate shopping. I specifically hate shopping for clothing. This is why I am doubly pissed about my closet being raided.

4. If I am not wearing my contacts or glasses, I cannot see the big E on the eye chart without bumping my nose on the wall

5. I try to find multiple of five in everything. I even take an extra step on my landing so that I have 15 steps to get upstairs - OK, now that's REALLY ODD.

Linda Hirshman Strikes Again

This is our opinion about a previous article where Linda Hirshman chose to make sweeping generalizations.

This is Hirshman's latest round of sweeping generalizations.

Now you gotta read...

Linda Hirshman: Revishitted.

Parents' Perspective Radio

Recently I was invited back for a second guest appearance on the award winning radio program "Parents' Perspective. The topic was "Military Parents" and I was interviewed along with retired military sociologist Doris Durand PhD. The show is now available as a podcast.

The hosts of this radio show are also best friends and they write books together. Hmm, this sounds oddly familiar doesn't it?

Sandy and Linda have a new book and we are excited to give it some good ole shameless promotion.

Go check out their book: Raising a Successful Child: Discover and Nurture Your Child's Talents