Washington Post Mommy Guilt- Update

Aviva and I have been interviewed quite a bit over the past two years. This is the first time we have had a negative experience with a journalist. All of our interactions with the media have been overwhelmingly postitive, until this week.

Have I ever been interviewed for a story and edited out? Absolutely.

Is it disappointing when it happens? Yes.

Does it make me angry? No.

Do I take it personally? No.

It happens all the time to a lot of people, not just me, every single day at magazines, newspapers and television media outlets around the world. Totally common. Absolutely expected. Not a shock by any means.

What was different this time? The reporter's conduct.

I sent a letter to the Executive Editor of the Washington Post, the reporter's managing editor and the reporter via express mail. In that letter I expressed my concern regarding the unprofessional conduct of their reporter Donna St. George. According to the US Post office the letters were delivered between 9AM and Noon yesterday.

My expectation would be that, maybe next week, I would receive a call from someone at the Post who would express, "We are sorry you were treated so unprofessionally by our employee. We have spoken to Ms. St George about her unprofessional conduct. Please know this is one individual and her behavior is not representative of how we expect our employees to conduct themselves nor is it to be understood that this is behavior we condone at the Washington Post. We apologize."

Now if that happened? My faith would be renewed regarding the integrity of the Washington Post. And how would I respond should I receive that call from the Washington Post?

"Thank you very much for calling, I accept your apology."

I was reared by my parents to be polite and gracious. Am I am dying breed? No.

I am teaching my sons.

At least the breed is one generation away from possible extinction.

Mommy Guit Washington Post Article: The Backstory.

I just want to publicly thank everyone who emailed me regarding the front page story from the March 20th edition of the Washington Post which was titled "Despite 'Mommy Guilt' Time With Kids Increasing; Society's Pressures, Own Expectations Alter Priorities."

Here is the backstory, the Post did this article and it originated with our book and me.

Last fall, after our book and blog had been mentioned serveral times on washingtonPost.com, I contacted the Fairfax County Desk of the Washington Post and the reporter I spoke with expressed an interest in the general topic of "mommy guilt". I offered myself as a resource for future articles given that I live in Fairfax County. The reporter called again and asked to come to my home and talk to me some more.

The reporter met with me at my home for three hours on January 9th to discuss mommy guilt, the impact it has on society and the survey we did for our book. The journalist attended a lecture, at my invitation, that I presented at Oak Hill Elementary School. She was present for the "meet and greet reception" and book signing which immediately preceded my presentation. Almost all, if not all, of the parents she used as sources for the front page article were at that event. So essentially she got access to those people, due to my involvement.

The original story morphed over time, as this was January and it is now March, into a story about the University of Maryland Time Use study. The reporter called me the evening prior to the story running and told me the change.

Did she tell me my contribution ended up being at the end of the article? Yes.

Did I tell her I was disappointed? Yes.

Did I tell her I understood these things happen? Yes.

Did I thank her for including me? Yes.

Did I thank her for calling me? Yes.

Did I congratulate her on having her byline on the front page? Yes.

I understand that stories can change in the editorial process. This was fine.
What was not fine,is the story did not credit me properly nor include the complete title of our book and failed to attribute it's authorship. While my name, part of the book title and the label of author are all utilized in the story, they were not used in the context of what the events actually were and how it all transpired.

Did the reporter tell me during that phone call that my name, the title of the book and author attribution would be included in the article? Yes.

Did she tell me there was a sidebar that would include the research for the article? Yes.

Why did the omission occur? I don't know.

Did I pick up the phone and call the reporter because I was confused about what happened and why? Yes.

Did I complain? No.

Did I voice a legitimate concern that every other professional, with the exception of me, was given an affiliation and mention of their work? Yes.

Was I professional at all times with the reporter? Yes.

Did the reporter scream, insult, ridicule and berate me? Yes.

Did I match her and raise my voice? No.

Am I going to do something about it? Yes.

Will I put update here on the blog? Yes.

Like so many of you expressed in your emails, I am confused and unhappy to have been marginalized and mischaracterized and I expected better of the Washington Post.

This is how we roll..

Last year Aviva and I were interviewed for an article which focussed upon rules parents make for themselves prior to having kids. In that article I talked about the rule I had made when we first got our minivan: No eating in the new car and water will be the only approved beverage. Truth be told, the first person to spill Dr. Pepper all over the floorboards was an adult. Who? Who would do such a thing? Yeah, you got it. It was me. The Rule Maker. But instead of feeling like I was some kind of a loser who could not even keep a car clean, I decided that I had set myself up by putting an unrealistic expectation upon all of us. I needed to pop open a can of Diet Coke with Lime and think about how our family uses the car.

We use our car, we use it a lot. We road trip for hours upon hours in the car. So in rethinking how we use our car and when, I realized the chance of us needing Febreeze and Resolve was fairly high and besides, weren't those products put on the market because of people like me? Spillers of the community.

I now accept that our family isn't messing up our car, we are DETAILING it. Mom My Car!

And Babble? You must!

Not long ago a new parenting e-zine launched by the name of Babble.

Babble is like a written buffet; offers a wide variety and you can slowly make your selection, fill up your plate immediately or come back for more if you think you may have missed something.

The articles are just the right length to suit the needs of today's parents who might have a while to wait between diaper changes or are jonesing for a few minutes of escapism prior to the beginning of a meeting.

Be sure to check out the special blog section Stroller Derby where you will find some familiar friends of Parentopia!

Forget "A Lil bit Country" versus "A Little bit rock n roll"

Who could imagine when I uploaded this picture of Aviva and me to www.myheritage.com's Face Recognition program we'd end up half Brat Pack and half Rat Pack?

After I showed my kids the result with Aviva and me, they begged to have their own pictures uploaded too. We spent some down time after dinner uploading all kinds of pictures of our family and other people we know. The program is free, all you need to do is register. Cheap thrills galore!