C'mon. Let's Be Baaaaaaad!
Go ahead. Break some rules with your kids. Do it. I just read this article by our blogmiga Meagan Francis in which she describes the excitement her children experienced from going with their dad to the midnight showing of Indiana Jones.
On a...
Wait. For. It.
SCHOOL NIGHT!
Then she goes on to discuss how quickly feeling good about a parenting decision can switch to feeling crummy when you realize your decision may not be receiving approval marks from other parents. This is an experience many parents can relate to and share. It does burst one's bubble of parental confidence at times to discover what you are doing isn't "mainstream", but you know what? Maybe the other parents are being non-commonsensical. After all, a 12 year old watching midnight movie on a weeknight with their parent isn't the same thing as an 12 year old being dropped off at a midnight movie by a parent. Period.
Some of my most fond memories of childhood are when my parents "broke the rules" with me. Letting me sleep over at my friend Louisa's house on a school night so our entire gaggle of girlfriends could watch The Lords of Flatbush on TV. Being Brooklyn Girls we had just had to see this movie and it was The Fonz people! I also remember the time my dad took me when I was a young teen to a bar to celebrate my birthday because a famous folk singer and human rights activist was playing that night and he thought it would make my birthday extra special. Which it did.
I remember these as special experiences I shared with my parents. Not every day events. These occasional deviations from the day to day, became memories from my childhood I cherish.
So go ahead, take your kid to a midnight showing of that special movie you know they really want to see, pick up your child from school in the middle of the day and whisk them to McDonald's with you for lunch. Is an author your child enjoys reading coming to a bookstore near you? Take your kid to the signing and so what if it's on a school night. I did this with Son One when This guy came to town and it was AWESOME.
Occasionally it's good to be bad. And it's really not all that bad if you stop and think about it. If no laws are being broken and no feelings are being hurt,and common sense is being observed then I say, "Go for it!"
I bet you will be surprised at what kinds of rule breaking you can come up with that isn't expensive, doesn't take tons of time and yet will be something you and your children will look back upon and love that you did together.
Labels: creating memories with kids, family, family time
posted by Devra @ 10:35 AM
4 Comments:
GASP! A school night! What kind of parents...
Just kidding, you are so right. I remember these special times with my parents too. It's good to create these memories with our kids, but also to teach them to be flexible.
Thanks for the shout-out, Devra! Yeah, come to think of it, those little stolen "rule-breaking" moments are some of my best memories from childhood.
I remember some busybody giving me crap because I was walking through Walmart with my first baby in a sling at 1 or 2 AM--"Shouldn't he be asleep in bed? she sniffed at me. Um, no. The reason I was at the store was that he pretty much refused to sleep between midnight and 3 AM, and getting out with him was the only way to feel sane. Plus, I was still adjusting to being an isolated at-home mom and sometimes a 1 AM trip to Walmart was the highlight of my day!
lords of flatbush quality
My 6 year old son has a blue mohawk. He's seen Harold and Kumar (both movies and yes, with us). He went to an Elvis Costello/Police concert with us on a school night. He has his own laptop and is starting his own blog.
These are just some of the parenting decisions that elicit those glares and gasps from other parents.
But...my kid also loves to read, is happy to give a shout out to math as his favorite subject in school, and writes in his journal (words, not pictures) every day. My point here isn't about his smarts (even though he's the smartest child on the planet) - it's about his love of learning. He is healthier and happier than the children of "good" parents who set strict rules and never budge.
Breaking the rules now and then may just make your kid more imaginative, cultured, and fun. Oh, and give them some great memories!
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