C'mon. Let's Be Baaaaaaad!

Go ahead. Break some rules with your kids. Do it. I just read this article by our blogmiga Meagan Francis in which she describes the excitement her children experienced from going with their dad to the midnight showing of Indiana Jones.
On a...

Wait. For. It.


SCHOOL NIGHT!

Then she goes on to discuss how quickly feeling good about a parenting decision can switch to feeling crummy when you realize your decision may not be receiving approval marks from other parents. This is an experience many parents can relate to and share. It does burst one's bubble of parental confidence at times to discover what you are doing isn't "mainstream", but you know what? Maybe the other parents are being non-commonsensical. After all, a 12 year old watching midnight movie on a weeknight with their parent isn't the same thing as an 12 year old being dropped off at a midnight movie by a parent. Period.

Some of my most fond memories of childhood are when my parents "broke the rules" with me. Letting me sleep over at my friend Louisa's house on a school night so our entire gaggle of girlfriends could watch The Lords of Flatbush on TV. Being Brooklyn Girls we had just had to see this movie and it was The Fonz people! I also remember the time my dad took me when I was a young teen to a bar to celebrate my birthday because a famous folk singer and human rights activist was playing that night and he thought it would make my birthday extra special. Which it did.

I remember these as special experiences I shared with my parents. Not every day events. These occasional deviations from the day to day, became memories from my childhood I cherish.

So go ahead, take your kid to a midnight showing of that special movie you know they really want to see, pick up your child from school in the middle of the day and whisk them to McDonald's with you for lunch. Is an author your child enjoys reading coming to a bookstore near you? Take your kid to the signing and so what if it's on a school night. I did this with Son One when This guy came to town and it was AWESOME.

Occasionally it's good to be bad. And it's really not all that bad if you stop and think about it. If no laws are being broken and no feelings are being hurt,and common sense is being observed then I say, "Go for it!"

I bet you will be surprised at what kinds of rule breaking you can come up with that isn't expensive, doesn't take tons of time and yet will be something you and your children will look back upon and love that you did together.

It's two,two, two posts in one: Loser Moms and Rookie Moms

Sarah and I have decided enough is enough and we're going to take turns kicking each other in the ass so we get on a healthier track. Sarah admits she eats too much and the consumption of da beer only adds to the extra pounds she feels she is packing. For me, being left handed and somewhat dyslexic has made aerobic classes an exercise in frustration. Given I have almost no equilibrium whatsoever, any kind of unsupervised work-outs could result in a lot of "I've fallen and can't get up" type situations for me. So, this is where Vionna Jones comes in to the picture.

Vionna is a personal trainer who will be working with Sarah and Me. Our agreement is she will work with us, and we will chronicle our experiences and progress. We encourage anyone who would like to kick our collective ass, to stop by our collective blog, Loser Moms. Because as anyone knows, it's going to take the entire Internet to get Sarah to put down the beer and get me to use my elliptical.

This isn't vanity people, this is for our health. Look, our hips don't lie and neither does our BMI. So now, we're taking the plunge and doing something about it. Maybe you've been putting off the idea of taking care of yourself. Maybe it's not extra pounds that are bothering you, maybe you've stopped reading for pleasure, maybe you've stopped hanging out with other adults.

Maybe you just need some more ideas to get you out of that parent trap we fall into when we only focus on one aspect of who we are. It's not tantamount to child neglect to decide you want to keep your pre-parent interests or develop new post-parent ones. As a social worker, I can tell you I have NEVER read a report from child protection investigating parents for hiring a responsible babysitter and going to a matinee of an Indy Film with French subtitles. Nor have I read a substantiated report of child abuse because a parent chose to make bedtime an hour early freeing up some time to read a book other than Goodnight Moon.

Maybe you need some ideas for combining parenthood and adulthood. This is a perfect opportunity for me to give some love to a new book written by our blogmigas, Rookie Moms. Aviva and I have spoken of Rookie Moms on our blog, and now the gals have a book we are very excited to recommend and endorse; The Rookie Moms Handbook: 250 Activities to do with (and without) your baby.

This book isn't laden with popsicle stick crafts you and your infant can do together, this book includes activities that focus on the many facets that make up who we are as people. The book grabbed my attention because of the inclusiveness it promotes among those facets. One which resonated with me in particular is parents can benefit from continuing to hang out with their non-parent friends. I totally agree.

It's very common for people to stop seeing their non-parent friends after they have kids. I think one of the main reasons is we become parent-centric in many ways, which isn't unexpected nor unnatural, but it does make it difficult for some parents to figure out how to relate to friends who aren't parents. Non-parent friends may become bored with babytalk, which is also not unexpected nor unnatural. But while we may miss our friends, we may be too sleep deprived to think clearly about how to make a bridge that doesn't include anyone lifting up their arms, singing and walking around in circles. But help is here...

What I especially love is one idea in this book which suggests parents focus on finding a common interest with their non-parent friends, in this case it is watching movies together. The book then gives a brief paragraph on how exactly to make that movie night happen.

And while the book is being marketed with new parents in mind, I found ideas in it which are absolutely applicable to seasoned parents too.

The book is also perfect for reading in stops and starts, kind of like how I've been exercising...until recently. ;)

Wee Wii Wee

As many of you know, Devra and I met at JCC Ranch camp when we were still in single digit ages. A fond memory of those camp years is talent show night. Every year a few favorite cabin acts would return. As I tell my kids when they ask me why - I can tell you in one word, "Tradition." Feel free to break into song with Tevya here. Anyway, a show stopper every year was the infamous, "I gotta go wee" act. All the campers and counselor would lie down on the ground, ready to go to sleep. The one on the end would whisper to the girl next to her, "I gotta go wee." It would get passed up the line to the counselor who would say, "Tell her to wait, we're all sleeping now and I don't want to get up." This would pass back to the girl who would repeat her request with a bit more agitation only to land a similar response (wash, rinse, repeat - you get it right?). Finally, exasperated, the counselor would send back, "Fine, go wee already." The girl would jump up and dance across the other campers while singing out, "wee, wee, wee." Totally expected but we all laughed every year. Why? You don't really want me to sing again do you?

What the heck does this have to do with anything? Nothing really. Except for the fact that every time I hear someone mention the Wii, I think of that ridiculous skit. Now you can all suffer that memory right along with me...

So, the kind folks at Nintendo have decided to help me keep off the 15 pounds I just lost in preparation for my last show by gracing my home with Wii Fit. Of course, things being what they are, I was the last family member given the opportunity to sign on and give it a try. OK, so maybe I got to try it before anyone else at a Nintendo hosted dinner a little while ago. You see, I am not athletic in the sports sense. I can probably sing and dance circles around a lot of you but don't ever, ever throw a ball at me. I will duck, yell, and look foolish, as well as frightened. Suffice it to say, I am just as lousy at electronic sports as I am at actual ones so things like Wii had no real appeal for me. Until...Wii Fit. I can proudly say I rule the house at aerobics and yoga! My balance and strength aren't too bad either. Just don't make me head those stupid soccer balls! I admit it, I'm hooked on parts of it - the parts I am good at.

As for the rest of the family. I caught my husband doing Yoga when he thought he was alone in the house. My girls are simply having fun with all of it and my son is learning patience and practice are just as important as the activity itself. I'll admit, I was frustrated with the amount of time it takes to set each person up to get started. However, once all the data was entered and we, "Let the games begin," I realized the reasoning behind it all. Wii isn't just about playing games. It really is about challenging yourself (and others if you wish) to improve your skills along with your health in a very relaxed environment - your own home! Yes, it is a bit intimidating to hear the initial stats about your BMI but encouraging to know that playing these games can make a difference. The system even lets you set goals and track your progress. How cool is that?

I will keep on Wii-ing if it means I can work out whenever I have a few spare minutes instead of dragging my ass out of bed at 5:15 in the morning to go to the gym. My son will do it to master each event, my girls will do it for the fun and may even admit to the great shape it helps them to stay in, my husband will do it (let's be honest here) to make sure he keeps his #1 ranking in each category. And, when the entire family gets together to Wii, we all have a great time encouraging each other and laughing hysterically any time I try to actually participate in anything with a ball, bat, glove, etc...

Thanks Nintendo, for giving us our very own indoor video workout with a purpose!

How Was Your Mother's Day?

(Look people. We know you are lurking. We can see how many of you stop by on our stats. WE SEE YOU! But lo and behold, we only have two people brave enough to discuss their Mother's Day? Are you kidding us? C'mon! Jump in, tell us what's going on with you! We wouldn't ask if we really didn't want to know! Would you change anything about Mother's Day for next year? Leave it the same? What???)


We've had technical difficulties. For some unknown reason signing into "Blogger" became impossible for a number of days. Short of calling Oliver Stone, we couldn't figure out the problem or if it was indeed a conspiracy. But right when we were going to look up Ollie, suddenly the Internets opened up and we were able to sign into "Blogger." So now comes the catching up. How was Mother's Day?

We're going to say it, we're not big fans of Mother's Day. We know, it sounds so "unmotherly" to admit we'd rather skip it than observe it. We're not convinced that Mother's Day is useful to anyone else other than the gift card companies. We feel more like moms when we celebrate the birthdays of our children. Because isn't that the real day we all became mothers? However your child came to you,if they were never born, you would not be a mom. But we know there are those who consider having a day where motherhood is acknowledged and celebrated. Where are you on the idea of it? Did you like it more when you were the child honoring your mom or do you enjoy being the one now feted?

How did Mother's Day go for you and yours? Did you find yourself feeling...

Appreciated? Guilty? Annoyed? Happy? Let down? Something else?

Edited to add:
Dads, chime in!

Find Us Over On BabyCenter

A few weeks ago we were interviewed by Evonne Lack. The article is "The Top 7 Mommy Guilt Trips--And How To Handle Them" which is now posted on BabyCenter. We're also happy to give a shout out to our Blogmiga Tela from Working Moms Against Guilt who is also included in the article.

If that article gets you in the mood to read blog posts about parenting and guilt, go check out the recap of Parenting Guilt Day from Silicon Valley Moms Group. You'll find writers from DC, NJ, NY, SV and 50-Somethings all coping, ditching, ignoring and laughing as they retell their experiences.

Brother (or mother, father, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin, neighbor, business partner) can you spare a dime? Actually, it's $1.31 per year.

Have you seen this article from Parade Magazine asking for a vote regarding funding for PBS programming? Unlike the elections, there are only two possible candidates, "Yes" or "No." I've already voted. My vote is "Yes!" If there was an "Oh hell yes!" button, I would have clicked it.

I for one do not want public television or radio to go under and I am very willing to pay $1.31 cents per year to make sure PBS stays afloat. Not only am I willing to fork over that money because I enjoy PBS and have done work for them, I am willing to pay up because I am standing up against the ridiculous argument PBS programming can be replaced by cable television programming. Pardon me while I rant for a moment about assumptions that bother me.

Newsflash: Death and taxes are a certainty in life, cable television service isn't. Hello? There are actually people who cannot afford to have cable television. And you know what else? There are people who do not want cable television. Yes, they walk among us! I have even been in their homes on more than one occasion, and you know what? Not all of them could be described as dope head democratic, republican, libertarian vegan crack dealers addicted to Wii who neglect their kids and are anti-establishment fundamental Christian Marxists who unschool their children. Not that anything is wrong with that. If any of those folks support PBS programming, I want their vote. But the ones I am speaking about mainly, are in fact run of the mill families who may not have the cash to shell out, may not believe having hundreds of channels meets their need or just, big shock, enjoy PBS programs.

PUBLIC, PUBLIC, PUBLIC Television. IT IS FOR... THE PUBLIC. YOU.ME. EVERYBODY!
Do I sound like a lunatic? I know I do and it's because the very idea that cable television programming could replace an American Icon makes me lose my shit.

Now is the time when I modify a quote from Sprockets in order to express myself: This disturbs me to the point of insanity. There. I am insane now.Obviously I have cable. I believe cable is a priveledge, not a right. PBS, to me, is a right. I want us to fight for our right to have it.

But I didn't get this passionate about PBS overnight. This has been years in the making. My parents were/are PBS Junkies. In fact my mother's ringtone when she calls me is the theme from MasterPiece Theatre because if you haven't figured it out, my mama has a penchant for drama. When I was in pre-school and needed to be in the land of make believe Mister Rogers had my back. There were other times in my life when Mister Rogers was there for me. You too? I knew I heard an "AMEN!" Maybe a true story from my own childhood will bring up some memories for you as well and in turn and make you think about what we will lose if PBS goes under.

The scene is 1976. A living room in Apt. 7B, Brooklyn Heights, NY.

Twas the days before television remote controls, the days when getting up off the sofa was required for changing a channel and I was doing just that. As I started to turn the knob on our Zenith to another station my mother instructed "Leave it be please, PBS has a show on we need to watch together." I shrugged my shoulders as if to say "Okay fine." and then asked "What show?" My mother answers, "The Underground Movement." I consult the TV Schedule and tell my mother, "NOVA is coming on next so it's probably some kind of show about moles." My mother gets fired up and proceeds to lecture me about how I am incorrect. That this show is about the Underground Resistance Movement. She insists it is my obligation "to learn about the struggle of the Jewish people" and informs me "You must watch this show as we are Jews! It is our history!" To which I reply "Are we descendants of Jewish moles? Because I'm pretty sure that if NOVA is having a show about 'The Underground' it's gonna be about animals living under the earth!" To which my mother snaps, "NO! It is about the Jewish underground resistance movement and you are going to sit right here with me and watch it so you will understand how much our ancestors had to struggle against oppression! This is my history, your history and the history you will one day share with your own children!" So throw myself down onto the sofa. I am in a full-body sulk. I am glaring. This is what 9 year olds do when they know they are right and their parent is undeniably wrong.

The voice-over for NOVA begins and goes something like "Tonight on NOVA we explore life underground, from foxes and badgers, moles..." I triumphantly turn to my mother and demand "Tell me, which one of those mammals is our ancestor who fought oppression? Maybe we have a cousin who fought an opossum. Oh wait, you did say oppression, right?"

Silence. Had my mother been capable of shooting lasers from her eyes, I believe she would have done it. It also would have cleared things up fast had the New York Times television guide published this description of the show:

Underground Movement (The)
NOVA explores life underground, from foxes and badgers through moles and worms down to the myriad of micro-organisms that make soil the most complex substrate for life on earth. Included in the film is extraordinary footage of a mole burrowing and of roots growing.
Original broadcast date: 04/18/76
Topic: animal biology/behavior

What's your PBS story? Is it from your own childhood or that of your own children?

Whatever your story may be,I bet it's worth at least $1.31 a year.

A Day In A Life of Devra or How I know when I've got too much going on...

I don't know about you, but when I've got too much going on, there are signs and I have learned to heed them. Like yesterday for example. Having parked my car at a meter, I ducked into a store to get change for a dollar. After being given 4 quarters, I dutifully went back to the meter. Fortunately it only took one quarter before I realized I was feeding the wrong meter. So if you were parked on Connecticut Avenue yesterday at 12:00 Noon and you got an extra half hour on your meter know it was on me, Devra Renner, the woman who has been doing too much this week.


Next I took me and my overtaxed brain up the elevator to a monthly meeting where I am a rep for MomsRising. I'm not the only rep, the other one was going to be there too, but a big tadoo over at The Momocrats was happening, so she bailed on me. But do not hate on her. Do not! Look if I had Barack O'boyfriend answering questions on my blog, I'd be bailing on me too. We were just talking about something weren't we? What were we talking about before I became distracted? Oh right, my inability to keep myself out of embarrassment when I have too much going on causing my brain to misfire.

Being that I had a half hour before the meeting was to begin, I figured it was as good a time as any to visit the loo. I asked the receptionist for the key, she pointed to a basket sitting on the counter. I grabbed one of the many keys. Got to the door, put the key in. Hmm, doesn't work. Think to myself, "What's that all about?" Suddenly the cloak of darkness is removed from my head, the fog lifts, angels sing and I realize I've got the key to the men's room. Niiiiice. Back to the receptionist, where I explain the key mix up as well as the meter experience that preceded the key debacle. Like she even cares. I know. Shut up. (But know I still heart you, even if I used the S word. It's in jest.)

Finally I make it to the conference room to hear staffers from Pete Stark and George Miller's offices discuss the "Family Leave Insurance Act of 2008" On the one hand, it was affirming to hear the staffers discuss the bill and bring up their own struggles with figuring out the life/family/work dynamic. But at the same time it was frustrating because it's difficult to determine how seriously the higher ups on The Hill consider this type of legislation because it's up against economic policy, foreign policy and a whole menu of other items which often are taken far more seriously by our nation's leaders. However, like a wild ride, another upward turn is this is the second FMLA inspired bill to be introduced in a very short period of time (we're on Federal Government Time, this means anything less decade) with the other being the "Family Leave Insurance Act of 2007" This is more congressional action we have seen in the 15 years since our country gave birth to FMLA on February 5th, 1993!

Call your elected officials, let em know you want more legislation supporting care-work in our country. It only takes a minute to say, "Please help my family and many more. Thank you." Do it. I'll wait right here for you to come back and tell me all about your call and what you said, and what they said.

I'll also wait right here because I need to slow the hell down!

Cross-posted on DC Metro Moms Blog