Mother Daughter Time

This weekend I'm spending 3 days having some incredible mother-daughter time. Not with my daughters, with my mother. For the first time in over 40 years (just barely over) my mom and I went on a weekend retreat. During the beautiful drive to Peaceful Valley Ranch we realized this was our first event like this... ever.

It's strange, my mom and I never really had a close relationship. Don't get me wrong, we got along, we just didn't have any of those deep mother-daughter moments you see on TV and movies or read about in books. I would say it's because they only exist in TV, movies and books but I know that isn't true. My girls and I are close and we have lots of fun together. We definitely share things my mom and I never did. For mom and me, this was something we both had to learn to do. It has something to do with my mom's upbringing and something to do with our family life growing up and something to do with the personalities we each possess. It's OK though, now that we are both adults and I have a family of my own, we have built a new relationship. A relationship without baggage.

Do you ever look at an old boyfriend and think what life would be like if you were to reunite with him today? It has its positive, perhaps even stimulating, moments but then you remember the baggage. It doesn't even have to be bad stuff, just the fact that you shared intimate things in your past makes the idea of reconnecting seem, well... awkward. Since I honestly don't remember any intimate sharing with my mother of any kind, I don't sense anything awkward when we talk now. We can share things about friends, relatives, work, it really doesn't matter. We have a genetic tie that helps us to understand each other and a mature relationship in which we feel safe and comfortable.

Do I fear the close relationship I have with my girls now will be a burden as we get older? No. We are different people with a different life. I hope my relationship with my girls when they are grown women can be as warm, safe and wonderful as the one I am now fortunate enough to share with my mom.

If you are blessed with the ability to do something like this with your mom, I encourage you to do so - no matter what your past relationships may have been. It can be a very enlightening, relaxing and rejuvenating experience. I feel better already and I'm not even home yet.