If giving is better than receiving, why do we worry so much about what we give?

When I was trying to figure out whether or not I should get my 13 year old son "Call of Duty" I went and looked up what experts, parents and even kids had to say about the game. Yes, I realize I am an "expert" but that doesn't mean I don't have to make my own parenting decisions. Having penned a parenting book does not mean I am any less immune to the pressure my 14 and 9 year old apply when they hear about a new video game or toy. Despite evidence to the contrary, they both clearly think I will crack, run to Target and slam my coin on the counter in order to get them the latest and greatest thing their best friend's cousin's brother just got.

To that I say to you, no effing way. I'm going to make informed decisions, not extorted ones!

I'm not going to give into the gimmes. Everyone will get gifts, but on our terms. Over the years I have witnessed many the parent reluctantly purchasing toys and games they hate. Maybe it's the loud obnoxious electronic book where you press a button to hear a something that is supposed to sound like a car horn, but sounds more like a foghorn. The purchase of Pink kitchen's seem to bring on pained expressions and violent video games may furrow the brows yet wind up being ferried home anyway.

Does this mean parents are doing the wrong thing when we buy this crap we don't like? Not necessarily. Consider asking yourself some questions to help decide if the purchase makes sense for your family;

Is it age appropriate? If not, is my child mature enough for it anyway?

How many of their friends really have it? Ask around to the other parents. You may discover not "everyone has it" and your child may not be "the only one in whole the entire world "who is experiencing the deprivation.

Can you afford it? Seriously. If not, consider it as an item for a wish list and teach your child the art of saving up to purchase big ticket items.

Will it add, detract or have no impact on your family life. This may not be obvious until you actually own the item, but it may be a selling point if you think about it right now.

When in doubt, wait it out. If you are unsure of a purchase, maybe you can wait a day or two. If the item is in limited quantity, or you are worried the price may rise, maybe you can buy it, hide it away and do some more research. If you figure out the purchase wasn't necessary, return the item.

Keep in mind memories often fade over time, but if your child has asked for the same gift for a long time, this may mean it actually means something to them. Even if you think the toy is silly or won't last long, it might still be worth getting anyway. Think about your toys as a kid, what do you recall being your favorite?

Which is a great segue into...

Everything old can be new again. Don't shy away from traditional toys or vintage stuff. The classics became classics for a reason. You will never sell me on the new Fisher Price Barn, I want the old wooden one that moos. Definitely. Maybe your kids would like some of that stuff too. Hunt around on Ebay or Craiglslist, hit yard sales too. Ask friends if their kids have outgrown stuff. Maybe they will trade or sell?

Giving gifts has become yet another mechanism for parents to second guess ourselves, but it doesn't have to be. Give yourself the gift careful consideration and if you find you made a mistake, then re-gift yourself with a big package of relief knowing gift receipts exist for a reason!