So yesterday, we were on the phone with Katie Couric...

No, she didn't butt dial us.

It was a conference call with bloggers from SVMoms Group and the purpose was to have a conversation about children and the recession. CBS News will be featuring special programming which will be focussing upon the economy and how children (and their families) are coping in these tough times.

We were asked to submit a couple of questions to get the ball rolling. I sent the following:

Having worked as a school social worker in rural Louisiana, I know all too well the high incidence of children living in poverty existed long before this recession. In my small school in Plain Dealing Louisiana I had students without indoor plumbing or electricity. And this was in the early 90's. It wasn't uncommon for teachers to collect clothing and food for entire families at my school. So while many people, outside of rural communities or poor parts of urban areas, may think this poverty condition is "new" it's not. We've been ignoring the blips on the radar screen for years. The recession has merely made the blips larger and more difficult to ignore.

1. What of the children who have survived hurricanes Katrina, Ivan and now have parents facing an additional hardship of a recession?

2. How are the programs initially set up to meet the needs of this population of children and their families, now effected by the compounded problem of the recession?

Over at DC Metro Moms, I've written a little bit about some of my work with families living in poverty. Aviva worked with Parents As Teachers as a parent educator, visiting families at home and knows how parents worry about how their children will do if the family is under stress too. She encountered families struggling to make ends meet as well as families who had decent resources. We all know parenting can be tough even under good circumstances.

When I worked as a crisis intervention counselor in Kansas, I heard more than my fair share of families dealing with rising health care costs for their children and facing insurmountable insurance hurdles. But this was before the recession. These were times when money may have been tight for families, but at least unemployment levels were reasonable and while we had experienced a brief war during that time, the price of the war wasn't as high as the current situations in Afghanistan and Iraq. Not only are military families under far more stress, military families aren't even defined the same way if we consider how many are affiliated with Reservists and National Guard.

Back then, however, the day to day was at least viewed as managable by most people's standards.

Now what's going on? We've got a recession. And families are hurting. Parents are overwhelmed with how to handle job loss, insurance gaps and health care needs. Education budgets are being cut, but at the same time schools are stepping in to be community centers in a way they haven't been doing for quite some time.

And Katie Couric is using her star power to be the voice of the children. Admittedly, I was dubious. I've seen how celebrities adopt a pet project, and then abandon it soon after. But then Katie Couric said something during our phone call that resonated with me. She said she felt this issue was on par with her work to promote awareness about colon cancer. I knew Katie's husband had died from colon cancer. And I knew she had worked tirelessly to get information about colon cancer to the public. She further stated the issue of children and the recession, once addressed, isn't one that will go away and will have to be revisited. Just as she does with colon cancer.

And with that statement, she won me over. We hope you will watch the CBS News coverage of Children of the Recession. It will be featured programming on CBS Evening News, Face the Nation and The Early Show.

Brother (or mother, father, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin, neighbor, business partner) can you spare a dime? Actually, it's $1.31 per year.

Have you seen this article from Parade Magazine asking for a vote regarding funding for PBS programming? Unlike the elections, there are only two possible candidates, "Yes" or "No." I've already voted. My vote is "Yes!" If there was an "Oh hell yes!" button, I would have clicked it.

I for one do not want public television or radio to go under and I am very willing to pay $1.31 cents per year to make sure PBS stays afloat. Not only am I willing to fork over that money because I enjoy PBS and have done work for them, I am willing to pay up because I am standing up against the ridiculous argument PBS programming can be replaced by cable television programming. Pardon me while I rant for a moment about assumptions that bother me.

Newsflash: Death and taxes are a certainty in life, cable television service isn't. Hello? There are actually people who cannot afford to have cable television. And you know what else? There are people who do not want cable television. Yes, they walk among us! I have even been in their homes on more than one occasion, and you know what? Not all of them could be described as dope head democratic, republican, libertarian vegan crack dealers addicted to Wii who neglect their kids and are anti-establishment fundamental Christian Marxists who unschool their children. Not that anything is wrong with that. If any of those folks support PBS programming, I want their vote. But the ones I am speaking about mainly, are in fact run of the mill families who may not have the cash to shell out, may not believe having hundreds of channels meets their need or just, big shock, enjoy PBS programs.

PUBLIC, PUBLIC, PUBLIC Television. IT IS FOR... THE PUBLIC. YOU.ME. EVERYBODY!
Do I sound like a lunatic? I know I do and it's because the very idea that cable television programming could replace an American Icon makes me lose my shit.

Now is the time when I modify a quote from Sprockets in order to express myself: This disturbs me to the point of insanity. There. I am insane now.Obviously I have cable. I believe cable is a priveledge, not a right. PBS, to me, is a right. I want us to fight for our right to have it.

But I didn't get this passionate about PBS overnight. This has been years in the making. My parents were/are PBS Junkies. In fact my mother's ringtone when she calls me is the theme from MasterPiece Theatre because if you haven't figured it out, my mama has a penchant for drama. When I was in pre-school and needed to be in the land of make believe Mister Rogers had my back. There were other times in my life when Mister Rogers was there for me. You too? I knew I heard an "AMEN!" Maybe a true story from my own childhood will bring up some memories for you as well and in turn and make you think about what we will lose if PBS goes under.

The scene is 1976. A living room in Apt. 7B, Brooklyn Heights, NY.

Twas the days before television remote controls, the days when getting up off the sofa was required for changing a channel and I was doing just that. As I started to turn the knob on our Zenith to another station my mother instructed "Leave it be please, PBS has a show on we need to watch together." I shrugged my shoulders as if to say "Okay fine." and then asked "What show?" My mother answers, "The Underground Movement." I consult the TV Schedule and tell my mother, "NOVA is coming on next so it's probably some kind of show about moles." My mother gets fired up and proceeds to lecture me about how I am incorrect. That this show is about the Underground Resistance Movement. She insists it is my obligation "to learn about the struggle of the Jewish people" and informs me "You must watch this show as we are Jews! It is our history!" To which I reply "Are we descendants of Jewish moles? Because I'm pretty sure that if NOVA is having a show about 'The Underground' it's gonna be about animals living under the earth!" To which my mother snaps, "NO! It is about the Jewish underground resistance movement and you are going to sit right here with me and watch it so you will understand how much our ancestors had to struggle against oppression! This is my history, your history and the history you will one day share with your own children!" So throw myself down onto the sofa. I am in a full-body sulk. I am glaring. This is what 9 year olds do when they know they are right and their parent is undeniably wrong.

The voice-over for NOVA begins and goes something like "Tonight on NOVA we explore life underground, from foxes and badgers, moles..." I triumphantly turn to my mother and demand "Tell me, which one of those mammals is our ancestor who fought oppression? Maybe we have a cousin who fought an opossum. Oh wait, you did say oppression, right?"

Silence. Had my mother been capable of shooting lasers from her eyes, I believe she would have done it. It also would have cleared things up fast had the New York Times television guide published this description of the show:

Underground Movement (The)
NOVA explores life underground, from foxes and badgers through moles and worms down to the myriad of micro-organisms that make soil the most complex substrate for life on earth. Included in the film is extraordinary footage of a mole burrowing and of roots growing.
Original broadcast date: 04/18/76
Topic: animal biology/behavior

What's your PBS story? Is it from your own childhood or that of your own children?

Whatever your story may be,I bet it's worth at least $1.31 a year.

A Day In A Life of Devra or How I know when I've got too much going on...

I don't know about you, but when I've got too much going on, there are signs and I have learned to heed them. Like yesterday for example. Having parked my car at a meter, I ducked into a store to get change for a dollar. After being given 4 quarters, I dutifully went back to the meter. Fortunately it only took one quarter before I realized I was feeding the wrong meter. So if you were parked on Connecticut Avenue yesterday at 12:00 Noon and you got an extra half hour on your meter know it was on me, Devra Renner, the woman who has been doing too much this week.


Next I took me and my overtaxed brain up the elevator to a monthly meeting where I am a rep for MomsRising. I'm not the only rep, the other one was going to be there too, but a big tadoo over at The Momocrats was happening, so she bailed on me. But do not hate on her. Do not! Look if I had Barack O'boyfriend answering questions on my blog, I'd be bailing on me too. We were just talking about something weren't we? What were we talking about before I became distracted? Oh right, my inability to keep myself out of embarrassment when I have too much going on causing my brain to misfire.

Being that I had a half hour before the meeting was to begin, I figured it was as good a time as any to visit the loo. I asked the receptionist for the key, she pointed to a basket sitting on the counter. I grabbed one of the many keys. Got to the door, put the key in. Hmm, doesn't work. Think to myself, "What's that all about?" Suddenly the cloak of darkness is removed from my head, the fog lifts, angels sing and I realize I've got the key to the men's room. Niiiiice. Back to the receptionist, where I explain the key mix up as well as the meter experience that preceded the key debacle. Like she even cares. I know. Shut up. (But know I still heart you, even if I used the S word. It's in jest.)

Finally I make it to the conference room to hear staffers from Pete Stark and George Miller's offices discuss the "Family Leave Insurance Act of 2008" On the one hand, it was affirming to hear the staffers discuss the bill and bring up their own struggles with figuring out the life/family/work dynamic. But at the same time it was frustrating because it's difficult to determine how seriously the higher ups on The Hill consider this type of legislation because it's up against economic policy, foreign policy and a whole menu of other items which often are taken far more seriously by our nation's leaders. However, like a wild ride, another upward turn is this is the second FMLA inspired bill to be introduced in a very short period of time (we're on Federal Government Time, this means anything less decade) with the other being the "Family Leave Insurance Act of 2007" This is more congressional action we have seen in the 15 years since our country gave birth to FMLA on February 5th, 1993!

Call your elected officials, let em know you want more legislation supporting care-work in our country. It only takes a minute to say, "Please help my family and many more. Thank you." Do it. I'll wait right here for you to come back and tell me all about your call and what you said, and what they said.

I'll also wait right here because I need to slow the hell down!

Cross-posted on DC Metro Moms Blog

John Walsh Almost Ran Me Over. My Bad

The John Walsh, who is most known as host of America's Most Wanted, but here at Parentopia we recognize him as a co-founder of The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and utterly dedicated children's advocate.

See this picture? John and Devra. Devra and John. Happy. Smiling. Neither of us suspecting what would happen next.

Shortly after this picture was taken I was walking across the parking lot, not paying any attention whatsoever to my surroundings, engrossed in converstation and felt a sharp tug at my sleeve from one of the women walking with me. I stopped, looked up and to my left as, John Walsh behind the wheel of a big SUV, was heading my way. I am deeply grateful to Chandra for pulling me back although I think we're the only ones who realized what had almost happened.

I'm not even sure John Walsh was aware of my pedestrian carelessness. (However had he had his window down, he would have heard me exclaim, "Holy Crap! That's John Walsh at the wheel! You just saved me from what could have been a very embarassing moment! Thank you!)

John wasn't barreling through a crowd of people or driving like a madman, he was testing a new system being offered by OnStar, the true purpose of our little intersection. Which, despite my little oversight was very safe. Everyone there was wearing protection. Seatbelts people. We were all wearing seatbelts!

I had been invited* to the OnStar/GM press conference and attended wearing both my DC Metro Moms Blog and Parentopia hats. John Walsh appeared at the event to endorse OnStar Stolen Vehicle Slow Down which is believed to be a potentially lifesaving service which could help protect children. According to Walsh,


1. If a vehicle is carjacked and there is a child in the car, the police will have the ability to locate the vehicle and slow it down with the help of OnStar advisors. Thus preventing a child from being abducted to a secondary location or just being left by the side of the road.


2. If police are chasing a stolen vehicle, OnStar advisors can slow the vehicle down, thus preventing a police chase from ending in tragedy. So something like this could be prevented.

Is the system sort of like Big Brother? In a way, it kinda is and there was a question from a New York Times reporter who expressed concern about exactly how the service would work if someone wanted to use the other OnStar services and did not want the SlowDown Service. The answer to that question is the SlowDown service has an "opt out," so you can still use the other OnStar services even if you choose not to participate in the SlowDown Service.

I did get to experience how the system works as Brian Armstead from XM Radio's AutoSense took the wheel and riding shotgun was On Wheels Washington Post columnist Warren Brown. I sat in the back because I forgot to bring my driver's license. (Note to self, when invited to a AUTO event, bring license. Duh.) As Brian gunned the engine, our OnStar representative explained that we would be simulating a situation where the car Brian was driving had been stolen by drug dealers and the police were in hot pursuit.

From the back seat I casually ask, "Did anyone remember to bring the crack?"

Our high speed chase lasted about 5 minutes. The OnStar system reduced the speed of the vehicle, a woman's voice spoke to Brian, informing him that the vehicle was being slowed down and he needed to pull over to a safe location and wait for law enforcement. I think in our collective mind we all expected, "Pull over, scumbag!" but it was more akin to Logan's Run in a stolen vehicle. Overall, we agreed the test drive indicates concept works and works smoothly.

As we walked across the parking lot, this time with me rotating my head like a barn owl, Warren introduced me to Vern Golf, Executive Vice President of Marketing and Advertising for Precious Times Magazine. Vern generously gave me a copy of the magazine. Obviously I don't represent the demographic for the magazine, Black Christian Women, but given my degree from Grambling State University, I feel included in this community.

On my metro ride home, I read the magazine from cover to cover. There were some double takes by other riders. But not any different from Warren Brown's reaction to learning I earned my MSW here, nor the time I was at a coffee shop wearing my GSU alumni shirt and reading our book club selection "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings," which spurred on a conversation with a man who kept staring at me and finally walked over to my table to say, "I'm tryin' to figure it all out" given the shirt, the book and my skin. Turns out he went to Howard. And then there was the time I was on a local panel of the National Hospice Foundation's Bereavement Teleconference where panelists represented a variety of faith communities and discussed how each responds to grief. As my credentials were announced, the AME minister seated next to me whipped his head around and then we all heard the moderator, "Let me explain Brother Jackson's whiplash..."

People often ask me what it was like to attend a primarily Black university, my answer is always the same, "It was wonderful and one of the best decisions I ever made." How can you not feel proud of being a part of a university community where the motto is "Everybody is Somebody?" As a social worker, I couldn't ask for a more perfect place to have on my vitae.

Which brings me back to the purpose of this post, hearing John Walsh speak was inspiring and I am glad I had the opportunity to meet him and learn about the OnStar Slowdown service. I have two wishes though, 1) the system didn't require a paid subscription and 2) it was available in every single car and not limited to GM/Saturn products.

My overall opinion is this service may be more useful in some areas of the country than others. For example I don't see The Huz's family living in rural Wyoming subscribing, but I do see my father being interested since he has experienced having one of these stolen when he lived in NYC.

While there are indeed unfortunate situations where a vehicle may be stolen with a child inside despite the best of intentions and obvious attempts to keep a child safe, ultimately kids should not be left alone in cars.

*Aviva and I are often approached by PR firms seeking our endorsement or a mention on our blog. We consider every solicitation carefully. Reason being is we only support services, products and events which are in agreement with our world view. Admittedly this makes us sound somewhat self-important and snotty, but integrity means a hell of a lot to both of us. The responsibility of being regarded as "expert" is one we both take seriously. We are committed to having consistent standards and this means putting our reputation behind products and services we can honestly, and without hesitation, recommend. I received no financial compensation for attending the OnStar event, but I did eat half a bagel, drank coffee and later ate a sandwich and drank a diet coke. The GM and PR folks were gracious and attentive hosts and I thank them for their invitation.

Not For Teacher

DC Metro Moms Blog has officially launched and I am one of the contributing writers! DC Metro Moms is just what the name sounds like; a group of moms who live in the Washington DC Metro Area. Sister sites of DC Metro Moms are Silicon Valley Moms Blog, Chicago Moms Blog and the soon to be launched New York City Moms Blog. Full-disclosure; I am participating as a labor of love, no money is changing hands. I adore the founders of SV Moms Blog and admire the bloggers who write for them. I am excited to be affliated this pool of incredible talented and marvelous mothers and hope you will go check out DC Metro Moms as well as their sister sites!

The following entry is cross-posted at DC Metro Moms.

Not For Teacher

The first day of school is approaching and I'm feeling at peace with our decision regarding school supplies. We purchased the boxed set of supplies being hawked by the PTO. For years we resisted. Using reasons such as "too expensive" or "shopping for the supplies is a rite of passage" both are true statements and I stand behind them. Integrity isn't my problem, the damn school supply list is. I have grown to hate that list. Yes, I said the "H" word, one of many four letter words, such as "Math",that make me cringe- yet another thing I "H", but I digress...

This year you will not find me here, here, here, here, or- Lord help me- making a midnight run ever again-here desperately looking for this. No more jokes about an Eraser Head remake starring yours truly. Put a fork in me, I am DONE with the School Supply Scavenger Hunt From Hell.

Actually it wasn't the eraser that did me in. It was this, as they say in journalism, The Back Story.

Tuesday, September 5, 2006 was the first day of school. I sent the hundred pounds worth of school supplies with the kids via their backpacks. That afternoon, Son Two gets off the bus with his loaded backpack saying he forgot to give them to his teacher. Understandable. First day of school is hectic. Right.

Tuesday night: Gentle reminder to give the teacher the supplies. Agrees to
remember.

Wednesday morning: gentle reminder. "I know. I will. Okay!" Son Two back to on bus with supplies in backpack.

Wednesday- End o' day, off the bus with the backpack laden with supplies. Son Two responds to my question regarding the giving of the supplies to his teacher, "I didn't want to." and "No one asked me if I wanted to."

That evening: "Son Two you must give your supplies to the teacher today. If you
bring them back home again, we will turn around and go right back to school
and drop them off. First you will have a snack, then we will hit the open road."

Next morning : Strong reminder to drop off supplies. "Okay!"

That afternoon: Off bus with full backpack of supplies, albeit looking a bit more tired than previously. Tells me "They have enough supplies. I don't want to give them supplies. I hate supplies. They are never
getting my supplies!"

I inform him he may have a snack, and then we are going to get in the car,
drive back to the school and drop off the supplies.

Snack is served, car keys are in hand.

Son Two finishes his snack, hears the garage door open and commences crying and lashes out with, "I hate the supplies! My teacher won't be there! You can't drop them off in the room! She doesn't need them! They have enough supplies!"

I tell Son Two he can go get in the car. No, he doesn't want to. (Shocking. I know.)

I scoop up Son Two, put him in the car. "Okay fine, I will go to the school, but
I am not getting out of the car. You bring in the supplies. I hate them!"

I let him know that those are not terms I am going to agree to given I
already did my job of buying the supplies and it is his responsibility to take them to his teacher. They are school supplies, not house supplies. I purchased them to be used at school. (At this point I hate the supplies
too! I've been shopping for the supplies for two weeks! Two weeks of my life I will never ever get back!)

We pull into the parking lot. Son Two refuses to get out of the car. More scooping in my part, more screaming on his. (This feels decidedly different than the tantrums at the grocery store because you can always go to another grocery store if necessary, switching elementary schools far more complicated.)

I deposit Son Two onto the sidewalk in front of the school where he shouts, "I am going to stand in the hall while you go in the room and drop off the stupid supplies!"

Again, no. I take Son Two by the hand. Alright, I take him by both hands while sort of escorting him and dragging him along with minimal damage to both of us. ( Thankfully he remains bi-pedal and it's not as awful as it could have been had he reverted to a quadruped.)

We arrive at the classroom. I pull out the bag of supplies from his backpack and grab a Post It note from
the teacher's desk ,and one of her pens -with the intention of labeling the supplies-only to be accosted by
Son Two,"No! You can't use her supplies! Those belong to my teacher!"

What?!

Now I need to be concerned that not only does he hate his supplies and thinks they are the devil, but we aren't supposed to use the one's already there either? I don't think so!

So I write a note to the teacher, "Here are Son Two's supplies. Sorry for any inconvenience." Son Two won't take this quietly. It is clear he is morally offended, right to his core as he entire time Son Two is screaming at me about supplies like a lunatic.

Thankfully the school was pretty much empty. I know it must
have been quite lovely to watch as this totally out of control child is wailing
about the stupidity and uselessness of school supplies while a grown woman is calmly
guiding him past the Main Office and out of the building. (What kept me calm? The thought of being a MOM dancing my head; MOM= My Own Margarita).

We get to the car and Son Two bursts into even more sobs and yells "They made
us go to gym today! We are supposed to have gym on Mondays and Fridays! Last year we had it on Tuesday and Thursday! Then they taught us all the same things we learned in kindergarten. This is so
boring! I want the supplies back. She doesn't deserve them! She shouldn't get to have them now! I'm not going to give them to my teacher until she teaches me something new! They all promised it would be new and it's not. They lied to me!"

Then it hits me. I know exactly what is going on here. My son is trying to extort his teacher by hoarding the school supplies until she teaches him something new. He is having a visceral response to reviewing material from last year.

Son Two is having the same meltdown Son One had when he began 1st grade. Now I get it. Totally.

We get home and I scoop once again, only this time I lovingly carry my clingy son into the house and cuddle with him on the sofa as I explain to Son Two that during the first few weeks of a new school year, the teacher will repeat a lot of the material from kindergarten as a beginning of the year review and they do it to make sure they still remember what they learned from last year. I told him howI understood how frustrating it is to feel like nothing is new even though it is supposed to be exciting and new to be in 1st grade. I also shared with him Son One felt this way too and it's just the way schools do things to
help everyone get ready for the new year.

It was like a light clicked on. He immediately stopped crying and was back
to his old self.

So this year, I bought the box of school supplies and it will be already in the classroom when he arrives at school. If however, he brings up the issue of supplies again, I am prepared to tell him his
daddy used to dodge enemy fire to drop supplies out of an airplane over various
underdeveloped nations so Son Two should thank his lucky stars he only has to drop
them off at the school in an empty classroom.

I can only hope that if Son Two ever aspires to be a doctor, he can cope with medical supplies.