Last night we were driving home from our Spring Break break. The Huz and I were discussing the entire Disney Debacle, as it is known in our household. Son Two was fast asleep, but Son One (our 12 year old) was listening in on our discussion and occasionally interjecting his own ideas/comments. During the course of our car-based convo about Easter and Passover observances, The Huz, responding to Son One's question "Do Jews ever do anything for Easter?" answered, "Yes, your mother was once the Easter Bunny!" Naturally this newly discovered tidbit about mom surprised Son One.
It's not a deep dark secret. It's true, during the Gulf War, I was in fact the Easter Bunny.
It's one of those "Before we had kids..." stories. (Which, by the way, most kids really enjoy hearing because it gives them perspective that their parents have other roles in addition to being mom and/or dad.) I wish I had the picture to post, but it would take me until next Passover to dig up the photo since it isn't a digital one. So you'll just have to make due with the retelling of the tale (tail?!) as I told Son One last night:
During the Gulf War, Daddy and I lived in Louisiana. Daddy was assigned to an Air Refueling Squadon at Barksdale Air Force Base. You weren't born yet. During our first year of marriage, Daddy was deployed 11 of those twelve months. One day while Daddy was away, I picked up the ringing phone and on the other end was the wife of Daddy's squadron commander, Ann.
"Hi Devra, all is okay, Pete is fine, I'm calling to ask for a favor." You see, back then, we all prefaced our calls to one another with "all is okay, husband/wife is fine" because sadly, a call from the Base always made our hearts skip a beat because it could mean the difference between knowing your loved one is coming home and life as it were continuing, or knowing your dreams of the future were ending because your loved one has been wounded or killed. That is the reality of war. Your dad and I lived that reality every day during the Gulf War and during Kosovo you lived it too when Daddy was deployed for all those months.
Do you remember sitting in our backyard in Kansas and looking up in the sky as we both heard a KC-135 fly overhead and you pointed upward? Do you remember what you called those planes as they flew over our house? Son One answered, "I called it a Sky Daddy." Yup, that's it alright. So you see, this a lot like the reality many families are currently facing with the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. It is a chilling reality our family understands too. We've talked about it a lot, so you know what empathy means; understanding we're all in this together. (cue the High school Musical soundtrack gentlemen!)
On other end of the line Ann is saying, "Devra, we are having an Easter Egg Hunt for the children in our squadron. Devra, would you please be our Easter Bunny?" I was quiet for a minute. Did I hear her right? I was being asked to be the squadron's Easter Bunny! Going thru my mind was,"Hello? I'm Jewish. I don't observe Easter", but maybe Ann had forgotten since The Huz is not Jewish? I gently reminded,"Ann you know I am Jewish, right?"
Ann responded that yes, she knew, and was asking me anyway. Huh?She then explained how when she was growing up she had once worked in a synagogue and everyone at that synagogue made her feel included, even though she was very openly Catholic. No one was trying to make her be Jewish, she understood that, they only wanted her to feel welcome too. Not feel excluded.
Ann went on to tell me she how she did briefly consider whether asking me to be the Easter Bunny would be offensive, but felt it more important to include me in a squadron event, than risk me feeling excluded from the event because I don't observe Easter. Ann told me it was more offensive to her not to ask. She explained her reasoning, "This is a time when we all need to be around one another. I know we're not all Catholic like me, we're not all Jewish like you, but I also know are all people who care about each other deeply. I don't want anyone isolated or excluded for any reason. If I need to figure out a way to include everyone, I am going to make it happen. I hope you will be our bunny." (and if you are reading this and tears are falling? Me too.)
Ann then told me she thought I would be "such a wonderful bunny", sharing how she had observed me with the squadron children at Hail and Farewells, and felt "your personality is perfect to be the Easter Bunny, we need someone to be upbeat and someone who could really play with the kids and get them to participate. Distract us all from the worry for a while." Something,she said, our squadron really needed as much as possible, given the stress the war is putting on everyone's family. The kids were indeed having a hard time. War is, after all, hell.
Ann wasn't at all surprised by my answer, "Ann, of course I will be the Easter Bunny. What time do you need me to be there?" After I hung up the phone, I went digging in our closet for Daddy's size 14 White Nike Hi Top's which I knew would make the perfect rabbit feet.
You see, my first thought wasn't,"I can't believe they're even having an Easter egg hunt in the first place when they know not everyone celebrates." No, my first thought was, "It must be so difficult for these families-my Air Force family of friends-to be observing their special holiday without their loved ones and since this isn't my holiday, why not be their Easter bunny?" Why not let them have their holiday, after all no one was denying me Passover by including me in Easter.
I also thought that if agree to be the Easter Bunny, this means all of the families observing Easter would be able play and laugh with their children, enjoying a common tradition, as they ran around the Barksdale Visitor Center looking for eggs and giggling like crazy. While it may not have been *my* tradition, it was theirs, and I wanted to be there with them and help them have it. And then I stopped in my bunny tracks as it hit me that I meant enough to them, they wanted me to be there too! And that,Son One, is how mommy was once the Easter Bunny.
It is also known as the story of, "How a nice Jewish girl like me, wound up in an Easter Bunny costume like that."
The take away from this? It is better to include somebunny than exclude somebunny. All it requires is a little thinking outside the bun.
Labels: Air Force Family, Celebrating Holidays, Disney, Easter Bunny, Empathy
