Happy New Year! Ring It In By Letting Yourself Go

Last week my younger son was going through a bin of old photos. You probably have a similar box or bin, it's the one filled with the pictures you swear you will some day label and organize.  Every time I see the bin I feel like crap. I've even gone so far as to hide the bin way in the back of a closet so I can purposefully keep it out of sight and out of mind.  I hated being reminded of what I considered a failed New Years resolution..


Not only had I spent years resolving to organize the photos, I'd spent years not organizing the photos and feeling immense guilt.  The guilt was so terrible I would stick my fingers in my ears and do the 'lalalalalalala I can't hear you!" if anyone mentioned the "S Word" i.e. scrapbooking. And forget about going to one of those Creative Memory parties. My anxiety was so bad that when I heard the words "Acid Free" I silently contemplated if an "Acid Trip" might not somehow work out better for me. And I've never dropped acid. Ever.


As they used to say in the 70's, "Man, this wasn't a good scene." So you can imagine how lousy I felt when my son dragged out the bin. I felt the guilt bubble up as I looked down at the piles of pictures.  But then something happened and everything changed. My son began taking out the pictures and asking me about who was in them, when the photo was shot, which camera had been used, and who had taken the picture. As I started to tell him about family members and our friends, sharing with him the life happening through the lense so to speak, I realized I no longer had to feel guilty about not organizing the pictures. It was okay.  In fact it was even better than okay.


I concluded it was a good thing I had repeatedly blown my New Years resolution.  As a direct result of my actions (or really my lack of them) my son and I spent a couple of hours looking through the bin and talking together. No way in hell would that have happened the same way had all the pictures been perfectly organized and catalogued.


Do you have a guilt you've been carrying over with you from year to year? This is the year to just let it go.

Mommyblogger Product Review Guilt Syndrome

If you're here looking for a post-BlogHer09 round up, stick around, it'll be up later this week. First we're going to hit rewind.

Prior to BlogHer09 Mom101 wrote this piece about a proposed "PR Blackout." Amongst the comments I notice repeated use of the "G" word (guilt). In our book "Mommy Guilt" we offer a chapter on "The 7 Principles of the Mommy Guilt-free Philosophy." In our book, they are listed by number, and not in order of importance. I figured maybe it might make sense to rework that list so it could be applied to blogging about products or reviewing them, again not in any particular order. Originally I had left the list I created (sans checking my spelling) in the comment section at Mom101's post over at BlogHer. I have now decided it makes sense to cross-post(and spell check) here if any of you, or someone you know, is suffering from Mommyblogger Product Review Syndrome (MPRGS).

How about some Mommyblogger Product Review Guilt-free Principles?

1. You must be willing to let some pitches go. It's perfectly okay to hit delete or pass on a product or service which has no meaning to you or relevance your blog.

2. Blogging is not a competitive sport. There is enough room in the blogosphere for everyone and their blog. You don't need to change your writing style to review a product or allow someone else to dictate what you should say or do. It's your blog. You own it. Do with it what feels right to you.

3. Look toward the future and the big picture. Is the product worth the time and attention to review? Will reviewing this product enhance your life and/or your blog? Consider your time and attention to hold value. While value often is associated with money or income, value can be measured intellectually, spiritually, physically and emotionally too.

4. Live in the moment. If it's not convenient for you, don't agree to do it. If it works for you, then by all means go for it.

5. Get used to saying "yes" to yourself and "no" to others more often.

6. Laugh a lot. Especially when mistakes happen. A person is behind that pitch, just as a person is behind that blog. People aren't perfect. Find The Funny whenever possible. It might be an immediate guffaw or an inside joke later, but find it.

7. Make sure you set aside time to blog the way you want to blog. No product, service or even charitable organization is worth losing your voice or your community of readers.

Product Review Stress Syndrome (PRSS) is another condition which seems to be on the rise recently. If you, or someone you know, is suffering from PRSS and needs tips to combat it, Mom101 is the go-to gal for those. Read em here.

Naturally no discussion of a syndrome would be complete without the mention of possible ways to prevent the syndrome from happening to you, or somone you know. We recommend a very simple method which we feel will hands down prevent, as well as treat, both conditions.

"No, we can't buy that right now!" or maybe we could wait a bit longer.

Spring Break and family travels are taking a hit this year because, well, the economy sucks right now. There are far more of us taking staycations or looking for ways to save money if we do decide to pack up and go. With the depth of the economic madness, it's no doubt parents are now placed in a position of changing the way money is spent. Who amongst us hasn't had to turn down a child's request for a new toy or refuse an impusle purchase at the grocery store? Sure, we're used to that kind of thing. But what if you have provide a "No!" to something you've usually met with a "Yes!"? Awkward!

Generally speaking, household finances usually do not spill over onto the playground, but we're living in pretty tough times right now. If your family isn't feeling it, I can bet you know someone who is. And I can also bet your kids are far more aware than you may realize. Kids aren't subscribing in droves so they can read what is written in the Wall Street Journal, but they are seeing the writing on the wall. Such as they aren't being invited to as many birthday parties or their exracurricular activities have been put on the economic chopping block. So how as parents are we supplying our children with economic information when the situation demands it while making sure we're not freaking our kids out by giving them adult financial statements?

1. Try not to mingle more into the conversation than what your child may be asking. If you aren't sure what their question is, ask them to explain it.

2. Prepare them for trips to the store by writing a list and explaining that until the economy improves, you'll won't be going "off list" while shopping.

3. If you are a family who uses "Wish Lists" for birthdays and holidays, consider explaining to your child that the Wish List is being used more often than before, so stuff they may want, needs to go on a new Wish List. As you save more money, you will consider what is on their wish list.

4. Watch how you approach a "need" or a "want." If you only have the resources to deal with "needs" than try to sit down with your kids and have a talk about the difference between "want" and "need."

5. Combine resources with other families or relatives. Maybe someone you know lives in a city you haven't visited and vice versa. See if they are open to swapping homes for a long weekend. Check with your local chamber of commerce, they may have a list of local discounts for businesses in your community.

6. This may be the perfect time to start a savings account for your child and WITH your child. Just like kids will eat better if they help select and prepare the meal, kids understand more about money if they are the ones who have to manage it.

7. If you dont' have the extra cash to open an account, you can role play saving and spending with items you have around your house. Or take your child to visit a bank or a mint.

8. While we live in a society which expect instant gratification, let your kids know you are also waiting on items you routinely used to buy. Maybe you aren't buying a new pair of sneakers when usually you buy a new pair every 6 months. Let your kids know your spending has also undergone some changes too.

9. Be honest, but don't overdo it. It's one thing to say "We don't have 25 extra dollars right now for a video game" and quite another to say "Your soccer team is very expensive and so I can't pay for anything extra. Don't ask me for a video game on top of what I'm already doing!"

10. Given this crappy economy, businesses themselves don't have the dollars to advertise like they used to, so there may be unadvertised specials just for the asking. So ask!

Here is a sampling of what can be found coast to coast for Spring Break and beyond:

How about hitting The City with your family? A New York Funcation.

Last weekend of Spring break finding you in Colorado? Spring Break in Breckinridge, CO.

Enjoy a three ring circus where you aren't the ringmaster. Ringling Bros is offering a family of 4 discount package if you go to ticketmaster and type in the code MOM.

Want to escape somewhere with your family? Consider Cape Cod.

Live and do things free in LA.

Got a favorite family excursion you've done on the cheap? What about your own childhood? Do you remember a particular family adventure you had that didn't cost a lot of money?

A Parentopia Prop

It's been a long time since we've given out any Parentopia Props. Since it has been a while, we'll refresh your memory of why we award the props. The purpose is to bring positive attention to those journalists who write about parenthood related topics sans the mommy (and daddy) war rhetoric. We prop those journalists who focus on issues instead stirring up angst. Journalism is often a thankless job, so this is our way of showing appreciation.

It's no secret infants need to be fed. But getting this basic need met hasn't always resulted in a meeting of the minds among experts, parents and people you may encounter on an airplane. Everyone seems to have their own opinion as to how and what your infant should be fed. A few months ago BabyCenter interviewed us for The Top 7 Mommy Guilt Trips--and how to handle them When we went back and read the comments, we were frustrated (but sadly not surprised) by the nastiness which occurred among the readers as they attacked each other. We also noticed we didn't escape the line of fire either. One commenter wanted to know, "Who are Renner and Pflock and what makes them think they know more than the American Academy of Pediatrics."

Well, since we're Renner and Pflock, we can say with a good deal of certainty we never claimed to know more than the American Academy of Pediatrics. In fact, we have made it clear we support their breastfeeding guidelines with the caveat that we acknowledge not all moms are ready, willing nor able to meet them. Whatever their reason, it's not our business to pass judgement. Why? Easy. It's not our baby, it's theirs. It's not our body, it's theirs. It's not our family, it's theirs. It's not our decision, it's theirs.

That being said, there are folks who choose to take on the parenting decisions other people make and express their feelings about them. If that be you? Be prepared to encounter some pissed off parents from time to time. Not saying input from others isn't helpful nor well intended, we all know it often is, but if anyone is offering up an unsolicited opinions about the feeding an infant, be aware it may not be welcomed by new parents with the same enthusiasm as an offer of a casserole.

So with this in mind...

Starshine Roshell is receiving a Parentopia Prop for her piece, A Formula for Guilt: Tainted Baby Food Leaves Kids Ill, Parents Remorseful which we came across in the Santa Barbara Independent.

How Was Your Mother's Day?

(Look people. We know you are lurking. We can see how many of you stop by on our stats. WE SEE YOU! But lo and behold, we only have two people brave enough to discuss their Mother's Day? Are you kidding us? C'mon! Jump in, tell us what's going on with you! We wouldn't ask if we really didn't want to know! Would you change anything about Mother's Day for next year? Leave it the same? What???)


We've had technical difficulties. For some unknown reason signing into "Blogger" became impossible for a number of days. Short of calling Oliver Stone, we couldn't figure out the problem or if it was indeed a conspiracy. But right when we were going to look up Ollie, suddenly the Internets opened up and we were able to sign into "Blogger." So now comes the catching up. How was Mother's Day?

We're going to say it, we're not big fans of Mother's Day. We know, it sounds so "unmotherly" to admit we'd rather skip it than observe it. We're not convinced that Mother's Day is useful to anyone else other than the gift card companies. We feel more like moms when we celebrate the birthdays of our children. Because isn't that the real day we all became mothers? However your child came to you,if they were never born, you would not be a mom. But we know there are those who consider having a day where motherhood is acknowledged and celebrated. Where are you on the idea of it? Did you like it more when you were the child honoring your mom or do you enjoy being the one now feted?

How did Mother's Day go for you and yours? Did you find yourself feeling...

Appreciated? Guilty? Annoyed? Happy? Let down? Something else?

Edited to add:
Dads, chime in!

PBS Parents Q&A Launched! We say hey, what a wonderful kind of day!

PBS programming has always been a big part of our lives; During our own childhood, in the course of our parenting, and now as professionals. We are so excited to be featured experts on PBS Parents this month! We hope you will click on over, check out the Q&A and participate in the discussion about what spikes or decreases your guilt-o-meter.

Devra makes it no secret that if Calliou , Arthur and Clifford were of age (and in the case of Arthur and Clifford, human), she'd take them all out and buy 'em a round for each 30 minute increment they kept her sons contently occupied giving her the opportunity to take a shower...and leave the guilt.

Aviva says, "Roger(s) that!"