Is Shouting the New Spanking? IS IT? WELL?

Update! I will be part of a panel discussion today at 12:30 EST on MSNBC's Dr. Nancy Snyderman Show. As I said on Twitter and Facebook, I am trying not to worry about a wardrobe malfunction. Although MochaMomma urged me to "PLEASE have a wardrobe malfunction, a planned one." Gotta admit, it's tempting. Too bad I don't have extra pasties from BlogHer '06. I hope you'll tune in and send me "Don't say stupid shit on national television" vibes!

The article written by Hilary Stout, For Some Parents Shouting Is The New Spanking appeared in the New York Times Styles section today and Aviva is quoted. Our post with more on the story, plus response to over 300 questions, concerns and observations found in the article's comments,will be up sometime over the weekend.

Oh, and don't think for a minute that it escaped our attention both photos included in the piece are of mothers yelling at their kids. Sure our book is called "Mommy Guilt" but this doesn't mean we support the notion mothers should just sit back,take the heat and wind up sticking our collective head in the oven whenever we admit we're experiencing tough times in the Parent-hood. We all know Dads yell too. And no doubt there are fathers who feel guilty about it. Parenting is not about perfection. Learning to be a more effective parent isn't the same thing as learning to be skilled glass blower. Glass doesn't have an ability to talk back, challenge, or call you "the meanest parent in the world." We're not parenting inanimate objects and we're human too.

(and on a separate note, this is the first time I have ever written a post, hit "spell check" and got a "No misspellings found" message. It's monumental. It is.)

Motherhood Is A Gas

I'm very happy to be recognized as a "Go To expert on arm farts." After all, I'm the same "expert" who uses Saturday Night Live as a parenting tool. And I also laugh at my own mistakes when it comes to my parenting on a fairly regular basis.

But even I, laid back about many many things, am a stickler when it comes to decorum and manners. While I am okay with arm farts, I am not okay with them at the library. I may use Saturday Night Live as a parenting tool, but I dont' allow my children to watch SNL without me right there, and truth be told, we don't even watch it"live"; All hail the DVR!

But this post isn't about how technology has changed our TV habits. It's more about something that happened way back in 2005; Aviva and I wrote a book which encouraged moms decrease the guilt and increase the enjoyment of parenting. At that time, we felt the hyper vigilant parenting needed to come to a halt. Anywhere we went (and still we do this) we attempted to absolve parental angst. Gave permission to parents not to worry so much. Urged parents to give their kids, and themselves, more freedom. We screamed "NO!" to anyone who thought the car adapter for a crockpot sounded like a good idea. We yelled, "YES!" to a parent who told us, "I'm going to let my child walk three blocks to school and I'll use that time to exercise or get to work on time." No secret, we had an agenda. And now it seems like our plan for world domination, or just being more relaxed parents, may be coming to fruition.

A week or so ago Lisa Belkin wrote a piece for the New York Times Magazine titled "The End of Over Parenting" Aviva's mother mailed it to Aviva with a note;"You girls started this!"* I don't know if we can make the claim of being groundbreakers, but I believe we can definitely document we've been steadily advocating parents aren't perfect, we don't have to be superhuman and our kids will not suffer if they have to play outside with only their imaginations. We can also stake claim that in 2005 we were mistaken for Judith Warner. A lot.

Now in 2009? I'm the Go To expert for arm farts. Suck it, Judy! (J/K)

Aviva and I are happy the momentum for parents to enjoy parenting and listen to each other's experiences continues to flow to other books and that spirit continues to rise up in different incarnations. The whole reason we wrote our book waybackwhen was to bring attention to what mothers ,and their families, were experiencing in real life, in their words, along with a few this and thats added by us.

If Aviva's mom is right, and we helped by getting the party started, we should keep the party going. Dare I say it? I do. Let's party hardy! Yes, I just used a term from the 80's(and for my next trick I'm going to write "You're a great kid, see you next summer!" all over my next blog post).

So we invite you to party with us.

Here is our Parentopia Party List:

Momfidence

Free Range Kids

The White Trash Mom Handbook

Mommy Confidence

The Ghost In The House

Sleep Is For the Weak

Mojo Mom

You're A Good Mom (And Your Kids Aren't So Bad Either)

Practically Perfect In Every Way

Who else needs to be on this list? Because like any party, there is always The One name which escapes your mind and doesn't get put on the invite list. The One where you slap your forehead with the accompanying "Oh shit. I totally forgot!" And after you think of that name? You think of at least three more!


*Aviva's mother will always refer to Aviva and me as "The Girls" or "You Girls." How can she not when she's known Aviva all of her life and me all of my life minus 7 years? Aviva and I have been friends since 1st grade. And if you've never read our story, here it is.